Fear.

{image from weheartit}

When I reflect back on my life, I can count a few moments of time, where I have stopped & had an almost 'out of body' experience where I thought; "Wow, everything right now in this moment is perfect!". Moments when nothing mattered, yet everything mattered. When the definition of CONTENT was perfectly in sync throughout me!One of those moments was my wedding night..... as Chris & I danced so happily & freely in front of all the special people in our lives & vowed to them that we were Husband & Wife and we were a lifelong team! We drank & laughed & cried & danced & ate & loved! I remember thinking that everything was so beautifully perfect!! And if it was to be my last moment on Earth, my last day....I'd die happily....contently.....blissfully, knowing that nothing else at that moment mattered! I felt complete & at peace!

However since becoming a Mumma.....the thought of not seeing another day, scares the sh*t out of me {excuse my language....sorry Mum!}! But.....The thought of missing one moment of Ella's life terrifies me.....let alone, missing a whole lifetime of moments with her! 'Taking risks' & 'living on the edge' have a whole new meaning & responsibility now!

People throw around the phrases: 'appreciate each day', and 'make each day count' and 'life without fear' all the time. Hey, even I do! But sometimes it's not that simple......sometimes it takes a tragedy or an accident or an illness or becoming a Mumma or facing a fear before you can really understand & embrace those phrases!

We all have fears!!! Including me!!! Some are superficial......like snakes & lizards {ewww they creep me out}, but some are much bigger than that....like something happening to my child/ren or loved ones....or missing amazing moments with my kids.....or: FLYING!! Yep.....I hate flying! There I said it! I am so friggen scared of flying that it may have played a small {or big} part in why I haven't traveled much in my adult years! I havent' let it completely control me! I've flown! I've done weekends away interstate with friends or Chris or my Mum or even 1 by myself. I've been on interstate school trips as a teenager on planes & I holidayed overseas 15 years ago! BUT....the older I get, the wiser {or more informed} I get.....the worrier in me sometimes gets the better of me! And with our Dream Trip coming up in just a couple of weeks, I will be honest in saying that I am NOT looking forward to the many flights we will be embarking on! I know this fear has mainly developed & worsened since the tragic loss of our friend in 2002, when a plane crash in Manilla had plans to change MANY people's lives that day! But....when I took the plunge & booked this holiday a couple of months ago, I decided to push beyond my gravity-defying fear of flying and to not let it play anymore of a role in my LIFE!

Yeah, I'm scared......and I can't take anything to relax myself {being pregnant & traveling solo with a 3yr old}, but, I'm going to LEAVE MY FEAR BEHIND and become a better person from it! I'm facing up to it!!!

C'mon...back me up here.....What's your FEAR? And did you/do you plan to ever face it?? I'd love to know!!! Am I brave.....or crazy? lol. 

Hakuna Matata ~ It Means No Worries!

Hakuna Matata {a Swahili phrase that is literally translated as "There are no worries".}

I often wonder what it would be like to be inside the mind of a child for a day :) A child like Ella. A child with emotion & good health & imagination & wonder & inquisitiveness & curiosity & love & innocence. 

Would the meaning of the phrase; Hakuna Matata; come as a natural instinct? 

I love seeing the world through the eyes of a child......so many opportunities await & there's so many inconsequential ideas to follow through with :) 

Like, yesterday when Kirsty & I decided to embrace the last official day of the school holidays by pigging out on hot chips for morning tea & basking in the gorgeous winter's sun at our local bayside town! The thought was basic......meet at 9:30....the kids can play on the beach & on the playground....and we can sit & relax & chat :) But....did we think through ALL the logistics? Haaa.....like the fact that taking kid's to a beach & telling them not to go in the water {because it's winter} is like taking a chocoholic to Willy Wonker's Factory & telling them not to sample anything!!!!!!! Lucky Kirsty packed back-up clothes for her boys......

Coz' they knew how to have a good time :) And a good time they had!!!!!

And whilst Kirsty & I were cringing at the sandy, muddy mess her boys were covered in....they were smiling from cheek to cheek with pure innocent joy! They didn't care about the cleaning, the mess, the dirt, the consequences of playing in cold water during the brunt of winter or the broken glass hidden in the sand! They were focused on having FUN & seeping every bit of goodness out of that time on the beach! I say CHEERS to that! If only, we, as adults, could live more wholly like that! Act without thinking so much! React without so much care! HAKUNA MATATA :)

BUT one thing us adults did embrace.....was the blue-ness of the sky, the crisp-ness of the air & the gorgeous place in which we live! Our kids were happy.....and in turn that makes us happy!

On the drive home after a gorgeous {messy} morning of play, Ella said to me "Mummy, I really do hope that Jet will marry me & dance with me when I wear a beautiful dress. But everytime I ask him to marry me, he says No." And she shook her head with severe disapointment!! My response: "Don't worry Bub, you have a whole lifetime in front of you to get married. Jet loves you & he shows you that all the time by holding your hand & being your friend & cuddling you & playing with you & looking after you when you're together! That's more special than a dance, trust me!" Ella replies: "Yes, I spose' so Mum. But I do most certainly love Jet and he loves me too coz he didn't shoot me when we played sticks!" Me: "Yep Darling! That's true love!!" {what else is a Mum to say?? What love story can top that? He didn't shoot her!! TRUE LOVE!} HAKUNA MATATA :)

*********

Earlier this week, I took Ella to a kid's cupcake class run by Jamosie Sweet. It was fun!!! I was a little worried that Ella, at 3, would be too young for the class. But no, the girl sat there & listened & learned & took it all in! No fear, no stress....just took it in her stride! She cut & lathered & iced & shaped!! She made 6 amazing beach-themed cupcakes & I was one proud Mumma at the end of the lesson :)

{Ella's shirt from Sweet n Sexy Scraps}

If you have kids {big or small} I highly recommend you tag along to one of Janelle's classes! 

HAKUNA MATATA!

HAPPY WEEKENDING!!!!

Dream Chaser. Wild & Precious Life.

{Print can be bought here & here}

A week or so ago, I mentioned that I was planning something amazing! Something that was so fresh & so foreign to me, that I couldn't even put into words yet! I then mentioned that we had been suitcase shopping! Well....the dust has settled, the reality has sunk in & I can string my words together about my exciting news!

On this blog, I often refer to the closing lines of Mary Oliver's poem "The Summer Day": Tell me, What is it you plan to do with your one wild & precious life?" I was first exposed to this poem in highschool during an 11th grade English class, and although I read it & absorbed it, I didn't truly take those last few words in!! I was then reminded of this poem on Dig This Chicks blog & those words....that closing question dug deep into me! And I have been left asking myself {almost daily} WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY ONE WILD & PRECIOUS LIFE?

I can think of a million things I want to do during my lifetime! My heart brews ideas & dreams & desires constantly! Some I've already achieved: get a teaching degree, marry my true love, bring life into the world through children, make a difference via my career, love with an open heart, watch sunsets & sunrises, dance, celebrate, start my own business.....oh how I could go on! Then there's some things that I want to do so badly but have never had the time, or the money, or the opportunity, or the experience, or the patience to live yet! For my long-time readers, you may remember the BUCKET LIST I made last year, with 50 things I want to do before I die! As I read through that list now, there's already some things on there that I can already cross off :) Oooh it feels good to tick things off a list, whether it's an 'errands to run' list or a 'big things i want to do during my 1 wild & precious life' list :)

Anyways.....bear with me.....I'm getting there :)

On Sunday the 8th of May, {a few weeks ago}, it was Mother's Day! I enjoyed a day of family & love & gifts & flowers! It was nice! Then, that night, Chris & I did something we don't get to do very often these days.....we got in his car, just the 2 of us, no children, and drove! We drove with no plans, we chatted about anything & everything! It was perfect! We ended up at a lovely Indian Restaurant for Butter Chicken, garlic & spice packed parcels & wine! We got to enjoy uninterrupted, adult conversation. Although I love more than anything being a family & spending time as a family unit, I also LOVE having time to just be a couple again too! We were 'us' long before we were Mum & Dad, so the occasional 'date night' is so good for our souls & our marriage!

Over dinner we were chatting about life & money & experiences & the future! We discussed the exciting upcoming arrival of our 2nd child, we talked about our plans for when this house finally sells!, we talked about new cars vs keeping things just as they are and then somehow we ended up chatting about things we want to do before we die...during our 1 wild, precious lifetime!! 

24 hours later.....I had quotes & itineraries being drawn up for me, I was filling out passport applications & I was frantically emailing my overseas friends & family :) 

In a nutshell.......on August 1st I'll be heading off with packed bags, to cross off these things from my bucket list:

• 4. Explore New York City
• 8. Take my daughter to DisneyLand
• 16. See a show on Broadway
• 26. Holiday in Canada

Let me just say: So.Friggen.Excited!

Yep, I'm chasing a dream to travel to the USA & Canada. A dream I've had for MANY MANY years now! And it was Chris who convinced me to JUST DO IT! And although I'm the dreamer, he's the impulsive one out of the 2 of us! His words that night sunk deep "You only live once Claire, so just go! And do it now before the baby is born, so you have no regrets in the future about not chasing your dreams!" I re-play those words over in my head each day! Hell yeah.....i'm making the most of this 1 wild & precious life & I'M DOING IT! 

Of course, we then had to work out the logistics behind this last minute holiday plan :) Chris can't take time off work right now, I have to go before September before I hit the 3rd trimester, can we afford it?, will Ella come or stay?, do I go in school holidays or use some long service leave & go mid-term?......so many thoughts, so many things to take into consideration! And it was me, who decided I couldn't leave Ella for 3 weeks! And I could NOT be in LA or NY or Canada without her! 

After a few weeks of planning & re-planning & discussing, it's set! It's paid for! It's HAPPENING!

On August 1st, Chris will be dropping Ella & I at the International Airport and us 2 girls will be kissing our Prince goodbye as we embark on a loooong 3 weeks trip :) First stop New Zealand {just to shower, eat, change flights etc} then to LA we fly :) DisneyLand will take up most of that few days....yeehaah! We will then be bound for NEW YORK....yeah baby!!! I.can.not.wait! Oh my, we have so much to cram into those few days of New York City whilst we stay with Chris's Brother, Matty, in his Broadway apartment :) Oh the life experiences I can't wait to tick off whilst there!!! Bagels for breakfast in Central Park, a horse-drawn carriage through the amazing scenery, morning tea at Magnolia Bakery, tour the M&M's factory, spend way too much time & way too money in FAO SCHWARZ with Ella, go up the Empire State Building, see the Statue of Liberty, see Carrie's apartment :), see Mary Poppins on Broadway, live like Blair & Serena for a day haaa, OMG!!!!!! We then head off to Canada!!!!!! Here I will finally meet one of my dearest friends, Tara, and there we are spending 5 glorious days with her & her Husband & their 2 gorgeous kids.....her eldest is a week younger than Ella & the reason we 'met' :) OMG, I don't think I even have words to express my excitement, anxiety & pure bliss I am feeling about this part of the holiday!!! We will stay in their gorgeous lake-side, country cottage and I have butterflies at the thought of this.....yay! I always imagined my first meeting with Tara involving lots of coffee & late nights & wine.....but with my pregnant state, it will be replaced with lots of hot chocolates, late nights & PHOTOS....omg I can not wait for the photo fun we're going to have! {she's a photographer & makes pretty things here} Then....{are you still with me?}....we fly to Kansas USA to stay 7 nights with my brother, his wife & their 3 little cherubs! I am filled with so much joy at the thought of spending a whole week absorbing the American Culture & lifestyle, right in the brunt of their summer :) Spending time with family & watching my girl with her cousins! YAHHHHHHHH!

Although, Ella & I will miss Chris like crazy......and  they'll be times of stress when I'm pregnant & swollen & lugging baggage & an overtired toddler through many an airport, I know it'll all be worth it! Coz this is AMAZING! This is my dream! And this is coming true!!!

Have I mentioned that I'm excited?? 

And although we're 9 weeks away from departure, I *may* have already started packing, and not because I'm super organised, but because I am so friggen excited!

So, there you have it my friends! What do I plan to do with my one wild & precious life? I plan to LIVE IT!!

What about you? What are your plans?

Dear 2010....THANK YOU!....{and the print winner is:}

Stop to smell the FLOWERS:

Wow, only 3 days until Christmas Day and 9 days until we say Goodbye to 2010 & welcome in the unknown experiences of 2011! A new year always excites me....a chance to wipe a slate, set a new goal, make a fresh start, take a new angle and tick off more experiences from a list of dreams & desires! However as a year rolls to and end, I can't help but to reflect on the happenings of that year & all that was....and is!

2010 for me was a mixture of crazy & calm!! A balance of chaos & tranquility!! Which is a good thing, I guess, becasuse I remember reflecting back on 2009 this time last year & unfortunately it seemed to have more stress, heartache & drama than NOT! So, as I look back on 2010...I SMILE! Because it's been FABULOUS...and for that I'm grateful!!!

Dear 2010, Your brought me this:

** We welcomed in the year at my best friend's house! Her family hosted the most amazing "Rock n Roll" party! Maybe 2010 was FAB because we started it with a BANG!!! Cuddling my bestie at midnight....the first minute 2010 greeted us :) **

** I launched my business Scissors Paper Rock in April of 2010! And what a ride it's been! And I'm loving every moment of it! **

**I started this wee-blog in April of 2010!! And who would've thought where this would take me!! This blog has become my 2nd baby :) It's where I come to relax, to write, to share, to socialise, to connect with people. What started as a blog about design & pretties & business....has evolved into my family's life journal & keepsake!! {with of course a sprinkle of pretties, business & design love!} I love sharing my life with my readers & thank you all for traveling this journey with me!

** I learnt that some freidships require a lot of hard work, and that's not neccessarily a bad thing! But I also learnt that some friendships are just easy all of the time! And they're the kind of friendships I surround myself with. I love my friends! I've made some fabulous new friends in 2010! People online, people through work, clients, people through Ella! Friends keep me sane & happy! And to all my friends, I say THANK YOU! Thank you for standing by in 2010 & loving me for ME! **

** In May of this year, we experienced the most scary of parenthood moments! We watched our 2yr old daughter, lay in hospital, fighting for breath....fighting for life! Those few days....were the most terrifying to date! Ella suffered a shocking asthma attack on the May Day Public Holiday & I learnt a whole new level of fear that day! Having the thought of "We nearly lost her" play over & over in my mind....woke me up to the life I was living, the life I want to live & the things that truly matter in this lifetime! Although I hated every moment of it.....I guess I'm grateful...because it was that experience that made something in me, CLICK, about a lot of things in my mind...and in my world!

** Ella turned TWO in 2010!!! Our little Fairy brings us so much joy! More than words could ever express! **

** Chris launched his business early this year too! Rype Ideas is going great guns and I am so so SO proud of Chris & his endless efforts, hard work & passion! Huge things are happening for you...and you deserve it all! You rock BABY! **

** Ella started ballet lessons at the local Mummy & Me class!!! Gosh, this girl loves to dance! She spins, twirls, jumps, leaps, claps, wiggles & sings.....pretty much ALL DAY!!!! She made some sweet little friends through her ballet lessons & she loves her teacher "Miss Nore" :) I love my little Dancing Girl!!! **

** In August of this year, I expereinced a pregnancy-loss!! It was this loss that made me question reason & rhyme! I had to search deep to understand & accept things that happen in life! I questioned "WHY ME?"! I lost not only a very much wanted little life.....but half of my reproductive system & that made the ordeal a whole lot more painful! But, it also made me appreciate my blessings, and all the good that surrounds me! Hey, it could've been a whole lot better.....but it also could've been a whole lot worse!! The surgeon explained that my left fallopian tube was starting to erupt, which meant I was only moments away from a life-threatening occurrence! Eeks!! So, although, I'm left with 3 crazy shaped scars on my tummy {my little reminders of what was.....and what could've been} & only half a working system....I'm also left with hope & love &  a much greater appreciation for LIFE!!! **

** We went on our first family camping trip....which was awesome!! And now planning the 2nd :) **

** I launched my range of PRINTS this year! A business direction that I am so SO glad I made! I'm truly loving every order I receive, every trip to the Print Shop & Post Office & every client that contacts me to Thank me!!!! **

Dear 2010, I could keep going & going with all the beauty & love & stress & moments you brought me, but I'll leave it there & truly cherish all that was.....and all that is!!! Thanks for changing my outlook on life 2010!!!

WOW....what a year! And a HUGE thank-you to all of you of traveled this year with me!

And...the winner of the LOVE IS THE NEW BLACK print is.....

Nicole @ Bubby Makes Three ~ Comment Number 14!

{True Random Number Generator Min:1 Max:18 Result: 14  Powered by RANDOM.ORG}

Congrats Nicole, please email me your postal address & the print will be on it's way to you in about a week & a half, when we return from our family getaway!!!

We're heading off on holiday today for 7 nights! My madeit & ETSY shops will be set to vacation mode as I'm taking a business-break until the 10th of January 2011!! I can't wait to come back then with some new PRINT DESIGNS & lovely collaborations with some super talented people!! I will probably still update my blog form time to time over the next few weeks....as I can't neglect my 2nd baby :)

Happy Wednesday All and again...THANK YOU 2010!

Dreaming of a White Christmas.......

I've lived in 2 countries in my 28 years of life..... Zimbabwe, Africa & Queensland, Australia! So....to me Christmas is...... SUMMER!! Super hot & muggy & steamy! Morning swims, beach trips, air-conditioning cranking, cool drinks, dripping ice-blocks, water parks, afternoon storms, night swims, thongs on feet, minimal clothing, bikinis & fish n chips eaten on sandy beaches & picnic blankets at sunset!!! I love that our Christmas is right in the brint of summer, because it gives us the perfect excuse to get out & about into the sun & fresh air! Backyard cricket is a staple in most Aussie homes on Chritsmas Day as is afternoon snoozes & poolside cocktails :)

But.....one day, one Christmas....I want to experience a WHITE CHRISTMAS!!! It's on my bucket list :) It's something I want to see....MUST SEE....in my lifetime! So many of our Christmas traditions revolve around our weather & climate....and one year I want to be emerssed in the traditions of a snow covered, frosty place of the world! With my brother & his family moving to the USA later this month for 2 years.....may be my perfect chance to get OS & live a white Christmas!!! I want to build a snowman & make snow angels with Ella, I want to sip hot cocoa & see white sheets covering buildings & cars & trees! I want to trudge through slushy streets in boots & coats! I want to feel snuggled up & confined on Christmas Day!

Have you ever expereinced a WHITE CHRISTMAS?? Is it all that I'm dreaming it to be??

{P.S. Tara, if you're reading this....one day my Dear, we'll be living a white Christmas together in your part of the world....I can't wait to expwerince this magical time of year with you!!}

{images from here}

Today, I'm Grateful for......{impulsive decisions}

I live in suburbia! But I love where we live! We're close to the city and close to the beach...the best of both worlds! It's a pretty central place! Our suburb is the 'sterotype norm'......an estate made up of fairly modern homes, a lot of young families....put simply.....a growing, brick & mortar area!! But.....if you travel 1km up the road you'll be heading North or South on the main freeway, or 3km West & your into the Gold Coast Hinterland mountains, or 2 km East & you're driving through 'rural' cane field farms! I love where we live! There's always something to do....somewhere to go!

And yesterday afternoon, as I clocked off from work at 3pm, with the most amazing feeling of FREEDOM.....THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS HAVE BEGUN!!!!! I wanted to kick off the holidays with a BANG! I got home to a very happy Ella {who had spent the day with her Nanny...they had been swimming & lunching & meeting Santa!!!}, I decided to succomb to the muggy 31degree heat & head to the beach for an evening picnic! So, I crammed a few goodies into a bag & off we set! We had to make a pit stop at the post office & to the local grocer to buy some hot chicken!

I drove through our populated suburbia, and into the cane fields! It's amazing how you can go from a modern, developed area to weave through a bend in the road & be in the middle of hectares of cane fields....I love it! 10 minutes later & we arrived at the sleepy little bayside fishing village! Another little treasure just minutes from our home! It was nice! It was perfect in fact! However, it would've been all the more sweeter with Chris there too....but he was in Melbourne yesterday on business & wasn't due back til late last night!

We sprawled out my favourite blanket, we snacked, I drank wine {hey, first day of the holidays....starting with a bang remember!}, we ate our greasy chicken & garlic balls, we dug in the sand, chased seagulls, watched the sunset, chatted to some 'colourful' locals, swam fully dressed & hung out until the wind had a chill to it & the moon was making his debut for the evening!

So....on that note.....I'm grateful for impulsive decisions....the decisions to drop everything, pack a bag & go somewhere totally unplanned!! It's usually those moments, those decisions, that result in lovely memories!

Cheers to holidays, I say!!!

What are you grateful for at the moment? To see lots of inspiration & gratefulness, head over to Maxabella's!

Happy Weekend All :)