Today.

Today, we woke early, but it felt good. I passed out at 7:30pm last night putting Ryder to bed. I woke in a panic at 8:30pm; to discover Chris had put Ella to bed, and all was right with the world :) I was exhausted though....and fell asleep a few minutes later on the couch, until Chris dragged me upstairs at 10pm.

As explained by my specialist, my immune system is working overtime in attempt to fight off a disease - a disease it is unable to fight off alone! Therefore, mixed with general life, adulthood, sleep deprivation, parenthood and working while being a stay-at-home-Mumma - I'm tired.

But I'm getting better at listening to my body. I'm not ignoring the symptoms or warning signs anymore. I'm succumbing to rest much easier now, and not feeling so guilty about it. This means, blog posts aren't daily and writing jobs are sometimes delayed by a day {or several}. It means my linen cupboard isn't organised and the gardens need a serious weeding. But hey, I'm keeping on top of the most important things - my health, my sanity, and my family.

Today, was ANZAC day. A Thursday which felt more like a Sunday.

We lazed all morning in pj's and bed-hair. And baked Anzac Cookies, of course...

Best enjoyed still warm, with a side of cold milk...

Then after Ryder had a nap, and we were showered and presentable to the outside world....

We headed out, the four of us. Lunch at the Coffee Club followed by a wine top-up at Dan Murphy's.

Next year we'll head into the city and watch my Dad march in the parade. But this year, with a toddler {who has an ear infection.....ugh} and a big, emotional day ahead of us tomorrow....we didn't stray too far today.

The local park called......a perfect sunset play was to be had....

Park trips seem to be an almost daily ritual for us. It's always the perfect way to burn off energy, get some fresh air....and have some fun!

Tonight has been quiet. A home cooked dinner, a few glasses of red wine {I'm gorging a little before my fasting begins at midnight} and listening to Ella pump out her home-reader book like an old pro. Followed by some writing. I've been writing A LOT lately - biography paragraphs, reviews, emails, informative articles, interview questions, more emails, media releases, learning activities, dedication pieces, more emails etc etc. But tonight, this writing - blog post writing, felt good. Felt easy.

I head to hospital tomorrow morning to undergo surgery. And then it's time to look up, and move on...

And as I sign off for the night, I'll leave you with this YouTube clip. Written and performed by my inspirational Father. A man of many talents.

To the ANZACS....or really for anyone lost, fought, sacrificed or survived in any form of war...

four leaf clover

As Sunday rolled on and I became more and more exhausted, I scripted a blog post in my mind about how tired I am and how hard I'm finding the smallest of jobs lately. I was planning on writing the post later that night once the kids were in bed. I was going to be honest and open about how hard parenthood can be at times and how mentally drained I am at the moment.

But then I saw this segment on Sixty Minutes. And realised how whiney and ungrateful my post was going to sound. How pathetic my train-of-thoughts really were....in the big scheme of things, I really have NOTHING to complain about,.... when it comes to Motherhood. 

Yeah, parenthood is hard sometimes. Yeah, I'm tired and mentally drained and a little sick of cooking meals to have them sprawled all over the floor and ending up in the bin. I'm quite over the lack of sleep. I'm finding '17months' mixed with 'boy' quite stressful. And yeah, I sometimes feel lonely in this motherhood journey and basically......just run down. 

And then I see a true life story of a dying boy, and the torment his parents are going through. And I think of  Rachel and her living nightmare. These parents would do ANYTHING to have sleepless, tiring, busy toddlers. ANYTHING!

It throws things into perspective doesn't it?

Yes, Ryder is keeping me on my toes and draining a lot of mental and emotional space out of me. He's a toddler! Toddlers are exhausting! And then on top of this, I get riddled with guilt about how much time and attention he requires right now, compared to Ella. Finding that balance and dismissing the guilt is what I'm finding hardest!

But I know it's a phase! And, like all phases, I know it won't stay like this forever.

And I need to realise it's just a lull - a crazy concoction of school holidays, toddlerhood, a recent diagnosis, an upcoming book launch and Chris being couch-bound with a severe leg infection. Things will change soon. I'm sure of it.

Yet more importantly....and where I need to shift my thinking back to.....is all the blessings I'm so grateful for. I have two amazing little Souls. Who I love more than life itself. Who I want to give the best possible upbringing to. They are healthy and alive and although, exhausting, they are both amazing balls of positive energy. And although this post started whiney, I will finish it with love. Because my kids are LOVE. And to be honest, I wouldn't change a thing about them. They are the epiphany of perfection - in my eyes. The happiness they bring me - far outweighs the stress and exhaustion.

And then Monday......as a new day greeted us and I made an effort to let things slow down, take shape and calm...... I find this:

YEP! A four leaf clover!

I took Ryder out front to play on the plastic slide. As he climbed slowly up the steps, I breathed in the fresh Autumn air. I looked down at the cold clover patch under my bare feet and pretty much saw it straight away. Four cloves of luck staring back at me :)

Couldn't have come at a better time! Seriously!

Yesterday - I could already feel a welcomed change in the air - in our home. Yes, Chris's leg is still bad and Ryder is still climbing, falling, throwing, running, sooking and challenging, and work still sits unattended awaiting my attention. BUT....a new perspective and sense of calm has crept in. I hope it sticks around for a while.

Happy Wednesday All.

Tell me.....do you have any four leaf clover stories to tell me? How do you Mothers of boys do it? Are you as excited about my upcoming book launch as me? Are parenting lulls normal? And.....how's your week rolling?

Some Exciting News.

For a couple of weeks, I've been dropping annoying cryptic hints that I was busily working on something exciting.

Well...finally....I can reveal what that is.

Since I was old enough to pick up a pencil and swirl it around on paper, I have had a love of writing. Overtime, as I learnt how to write words and sentences and then weave those sentences into stories and paragraphs and essays; that love grew deeper and bigger. As a child I would spend many hours off in my imagination - scripting stories, developing characters, reading, writing and dreaming. I wondered what it would be like to be a 'real writer' when I grew up. A real published Author.

And now, in my 31st year of life; I will discover what that is truly like. To be a real writer - a published author. 

Because in late May/early June my first children's picture book will go live.

Huge happy dance happening here. So much to be grateful for.

At first it will be available to purchase only online - Amazon, The Book Depository, BookTopia, Barnes & Noble plus a heap more awesome online bookstores. It will come in a printed paperback and as a downloadable eBook / Kindle app. Copies will be available in libraries and schools. And then eventually in physical book stores, around Australia....and if the stars align....maybe around the world. 

I seriously couldn't be happier. And it wasn't all a stroke of luck - I have not been offered any huge million dollar deals :) It all came down to:

* meeting and working with the right people.

* putting myself out there

* following my dream and heart

* working late nights

* shelling out money {and for that I am forever grateful that I have a supportive husband who has financially supported my choice to be a stay-at-home Mum and a writer}

* And...beliving in myself!

My editor; Penny, has been AMAZING!!!! And my 'agent/mentor' Anthony, has been a wealth of knowledge and inspiration. And a lot of this drive, as well as the signed, sealed deal all started to take shape and bloom on that fateful Saturday morning!! Wow!

As we speak, my illustrator; Trevor is working away madly at bringing my words to life. The front cover will be completed first, so I can show you all and start the promotions and advertising. As soon as that's done I will post it up here, on my blog; and tell you more about the book's title, storyline and publication.

Until....then....I have a lot of work still to do.

My Author website needs to be made and resources uploaded. Blurbs to write, as well a lot of 'buninessy/legal/behind the scenes' related stuff to complete.

FUN TIMES HERE! I seriously am soooo excited!

Stay tuned, because over the next month I will launch my Author Website and will notify you on how you can join my mailing list - so you are kept up to date with when the actual LAUNCH DATE of the book will be, as well as some special offers. I will be hosting an actual BOOK LAUNCH party {aimed for kids...we'll have a champagne and cheese one another time LOL} one Saturday morning in June in the Logan/Brisbane area too...so for any locals....I'd love to see you there :)

I'm hugely grateful right now. To my family and husband and friends for always cheering me on when I chase dreams and take risks. I have so many people holding me up, and for that I am buzzing with appreciation! I'm also grateful to YOU my blog readers, who have left comments - urging me to write and share and create. THANK YOU!

Linking up to Village Voices in 52 weeks of Grateful.

Happy Friday All.

A Perfect Summer's Day.

Yesterday was a little overcast and fairly gusty.

But today.....TODAY was perfect!

We were on the beach by 7:30am - the sun already high, the air had a gentle breeze to it and the water was crystal clear. The clouds slowly parted, revealing a blanket of blueness. All of my senses were alive to the tune of Summer.

Today was a perfect Summer's day!

With buckets and spades in hand, sun-hats on heads and layers of thick sun-cream oozing over our skin, we basked in the purity of the morning.

Although early, the beach was already alive with families and swimmers, runners and surfers. People of all ages and walks of life, together, making the most of this beautiful place.

Chris, Tony & Jayden headed striaght out into the surf - Chris armed with his GoPro water camera to capture some awesome footage, whilst Jenni, the kids and I hung in the washy foam of the shoreline.

We discovered Ryder's happy place....

The water was refreshing yet warm, and the sun's heat had a slight prickle to it - but still comfortable. Just that little whisper, that can only be heard on Summer's mornings. 

For almost two hours, we played, splashed, swam, ran, dug, explored.... and simply lived! I breathed in what was happening around me - the perfection, the bliss! Family and blessings and the true essence of Summer.

This is EXACTLY what I want for my kids - happy childhood memories of togetherness and fun. I want them to grow up with fond recollections of Summer and holidays and the perfection of days like today. I want them to know what it feels like to have salty-dried cheeks and sandy feet. To be knocked over by frothing waves and sweat-trickled skin. I want them to remember the giggles and faces and freedom. The easy, slow pace and the post-beach-exhaustion that leaves you feeling both tired, yet perfectly content.

Grandparents and Kids.

Pa and Ryder.

*************

Having Jayden here is always a blast. He's such a good kid. We laugh and joke and basically.....have fun! He is such a good big brother to Ella and Ryder - patient and gentle, considerate and protective. Everything a big brother should be!

Father and Son.

****************

At lunchtime today, we hired two jet skis and headed out for some serious adrenalin-pumping fun.

My muscles are aching and my skin has a slight burn to it.

I love summer!!

****************

Holidays are exhausting, didn't you know?!

On that note, I'm off to bed.

G'Night All x

P.S. Pop in tomorrow for another great giveaway.... :)

Day One - of being 30 & on holiday.

Yesterday I turned thirty. We rung in my special day at midnight - dancing, drinking, celebrating, loving, laughing & living it up at my best friend; Monica's; thirtieth bash. She put on an amazing party. She's good like that. And although, us girls *may have* hogged the photo booth most of the night and I *may have* done a Sambuca shot - the first in MANY years, it truly was a fun FUN night! I danced on a dance floor with friends, clinked champagne glasses, cheered, cried, reminisced and reflected. And as Chris & I scurried through the cold carpark after the party, holding hands - childfree; me with my heels in my hands, no longer on foot, I smiled. Being 30 is going to rock! I can just feel it.

Thirty started with a bang.

Yesterday then followed on with other lovelies: happy kids, visiting family, cake, presents, girlfriends around for a pizza dinner and more champers.... & packing for our family holiday! Our family holiday that began TODAY!

After a morning of packing, cleaning, organising & ticking off 'don't forget' lists {yet I still forgot so much haaa}, we headed to the Brisbane Airport - the 4 of us. My favourite 3 by my side. And we boarded flight DJ1497 - Hamilton Island bound.

The flight was fairly smooth. I had my usual micro panic attack on take-off, but calmed once the plane did. Ryder passed out in my lap on take-off & woke just as we started to descend for landing....perfection!

And although the weather here was ever-so-slightly overcast this afternoon......it's still paradise....

This trip was my 30th Birthday Gift from Chris! What a man! I tell you what!!!!!

I spent my whole 20's with him. We met when I was a mere baby-faced nineteen year old. And although, we {ike all couples, I'd like to assume}, had our down's & hard times, we also had a HEAP of great times. He's stood by me through a decade of growth & change. Seriously - Cheers to him, and the joy he brings into my life. No he doesn't do night feeds with baby, or pick up his wet towel off the bathroom floor.......but he makes me laugh, loves me BIG, works hard to provide a good life for me, and treats me like a Princess......like last-minute trips to Paradise....just for turning 30! I love you Chris xx. I really, truly do.

Once we were settled into the hotel, we set out on foot to explore the local area.

We scoured the shoreline for shells & treasures. We enjoyed the balmy weather.

After a rough few weeks with Ryder, today he was a champ. He went-with-the-flow, flirted with strangers, showed off his love of travel, and made the already hard job of traveling with kids....that little bit easier :) His giggles of delight could be heard across the crumpling water, as his Daddy splashed.....

And he loved having his delicious little toes dipped into the ocean.....

I'm hoping this fresh sea air and salty goodness will clear out the snot, germs and congestion we've all been suffering....once & for all for the season :)

These three make me whole. Welcome to the centre of my universe:

We then ventured on. Along the beach, into the dining area, and discovered some more amazing pools, which we'll definitely be testing out this week :)

A bar stop to re-hydrate....of course.

And made creative use of a bar table. My little bongo playing groover:

Chris & Ella {and Barbie Mermaid} had a quick dip in the Hotel's pool before dinner.

This little man is a water-loving-baby! No fear of it at all. Unlike Ella at that age {and still to a degree now} is so cautious of water. But not Ryder. Ryder just wants in!!

And now.....

We're back in the hotel room after a divine dinner in the pool-side restaurant. Kids eat free here {you NEED to come here....seriously}.....Don't you worry....we ensured Ella had a lovely big serving of fish n chips, frog in the pond & pink lemonade. hey....we're on holidays.....and it was FREE!

The kids are asleep. Ryder in the porta-cot by our bedside - his big sister in a queen bed all to her self - all 4 of us in the same room. Just as it should be :) Chris & I are now outside on the patio - iPadding, blogging, listening to Train's new album and breathing in the magic of the Whitsundays!

Lucky. Loved. And loving it! Signing off now - for an early one.

See you tomorrow for Day 2 :) {and Bookworms post coming this week too}

Weekend Wonderful.

Someone can hold his own bottle now. He thinks he's pretty clever......I do too....

Although, he's all smiles here in these shots, he's actually been quite the handful this past few days. I'm putting it down to teething. But our little munchkin man wants to be carried ALL.DAY.LONG {which would be fine if he wasn't over 10kg!!} and god forbid if you leave the room without him....end of the world! So, we made the most of it....with lots of floor play, couch cuddles & short trips out & about.

On Saturday, after a morning of housework & ballet, we chilled at home. Chris & Ella took this little beast out for a spin:

I could hear Ella's little squeals of delight as they fanged off down the hill.

And by late afternoon, the funk I had woken up in, finally evaporated. I took my little man Ryder to the local mall at 4:30pm {30mins before it shut} on a little date :) {aka....Mummy needed some supplies} and came home to Ella happily playing & Chris had cooked dinner - BLISS!

Sunday morning, we were invited to head up the coast to watch Chris's Pa in a very special tribute performance. But with Ryder in his *precious* state, and the post-exhaustion that comes with gastro-recovery, we thought a 2 hour drive up North may not go too well.

And we also had a very special little boy's 2nd Birthday!!!! TWO....already Brodie?? Gosh, time flies! {and I'm spewing that I didn't get a photo of the card that Ella wrote for him this year. Last year I took a photo of the funny little stick figure she drew him & I scripted the words as she relayed them to me. But this year, THIS YEAR, she wrote all the words by herself & drew dinosaurs & spiderwebs & 'all things boys' {according to her}. It's amazing the growth that happens over a year! Makes me all tingly with excitement about what our kids will be capable of this time next year. Scary & exciting at the same time!

The big TWO year old blowing out his candles....horizontal style :)

We had fun celebrating our special friend's, special day:

These two have been friends since 6 weeks of age.....I love watching them together:

And we had 'Farmer Bryden' doing his thing':

To end the weekend......

We pulled up a picnic rug on the garage floor, sat back & watched Chris wash the car :)

It was such a gorgeous winter's day! Blue skies and fluffy clouds galore.

Ella scoured through the garage and found all kinds of bits n pieces which she started creating into a house for her toy puppy....

And when we packed up & headed inside as the sun set, she continued well into the evening; working on her puppy house contraption:

It was a good GOOD day!

And.....a weekend photo dump from my iPhone, using my instagram shots:

Now.....bed calls :)

What did you weekend entail?

Happy week All x