Last minute trip & this past week.

The past week, looked a little something like this:

This afternoon, the kids & I got back from 4 days up North in Cairns. It was totally last minute and unplanned. The planning process went a little something like this: Chris's Brother Matty & Mother, Jen: "Hey, we're going to Cairns on Monday! You & the kids should come!" ME: "Ummm....ok!"

The 4 days away were the perfect mixture of crazy fun, and slowly quiet. I again questioned my impulsiveness of deciding to travel solo-parent with TWO young kids, but as always, we survived & had a great time. Traveling with kids is an overwhelming experience, and then there's traveling with kids as a single parent....it's a whole different ball game. Chris was away interstate for the past week, which is what made the invitation to head up to Cairns more desirable, as we were husband-less/daddy-less anyway! Thank goodness Ryder coped with his flights so well, perfectly in fact.....maybe another little adventure seeker on our hands? :) I did learn that I still hate flying though! And no matter how much I do it, it doesn't get any easier, or any more enjoyable. I HATE it! And if it wasn't for the fact that I had 2 little Souls to constantly entertain, talk to, feed, play with, assist, hold & cater for, I'd probably be a inconsolable mess. One little bump of turbulence and I am a hot, sticky mess. I'm not an anxious person normally.....but put me on a plane & I'm anxiety's number one friend! It's purely a means to an end. If I want to travel & explore....flying is part of it, so I just have to suck it up & go with it I guess.

Once we landed & hit Cairns' turf, I had family there to assist with the bags, transport & parenting. Thank golly goodness :) The 4 days rolled on by with some wining & dining, go-carting, relaxing, shopping, driving, catching up with family & lots of laughs :)

And everytime, I do something BIG like travel solo-parent style; I give myself secret high fives & fist pumps for making the effort....taking the plunge & proving my own capabilities. But at the same time, I miss Chris like crazy & question why the hell I would be stupid enough to tackle plane flights & hire cars & vacation planning without my number 1 support system - my husband. But sometimes in life, we're given opportunities......and I like to jump at them & seize them. No regrets baby!! But at the same time.....coming home today to OUR house, to OUR number one man, was PERFECTION and exactly what I needed to end an eventful & busy week.

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Rewinding back to the weekend......

With Chris away, I tried to balance our weekend with quiet time at home....just me & the kids - doing Mummy/Kid things.... along with finding time for friends & hanging out with them. So, on Saturday night, I entwined the "mother me" and the "friend me" and had the girls around for dinner & drinks. 

It was nice! Just what I needed in fact. And whilst my babies slept safely in their rooms, us girls sat up to the wee hours of the morning doing what girlfriends do best - TALKING, laughing, talking some more & laughing some more. We chit chatted about recipes & movies & fashion as well as tackling big topics like relationships & motherhood & money & work & travel. We talked about our worries & fears as well as our loves & plans. And although I love being a Mum, and a wife. I also love being a friend. Friends truly do calm the Soul.

{red wine & baby monitor.....us Mumma's can have the best of both worlds....I guess it's just about finding that balance...and snippets of time to entwine the 2 worlds}

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And my favourite photo from the week:

Last Thursday night {the night before Chris went away for the week} we went out to dinner down the coast, while my Mum & Dad stayed over to watch Ella & Ryder. Not only was it the BEST food & dining experience I'VE EVER HAD....but it was a FUN FUN night. Naoko {a family friend visiting from Japan} had a Polaroid camera with her. We took this happy snap at the end of the evening. I love it. Me & my hunky hubby! I love him.

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So, in a nutshell....that was my week & where I've been these past few days of missing from the online world :)

Tomorrow is friday! Yikes, these weeeks roll around way toooo quickly!!!!!!

I'm off to snuggle with my man after a week without each other :)

Goodnight!

The Pink Gerbera. A sign from above?

On the 26th of August 2002, I turned twenty. I was in the middle of a 4 week teaching prac, Chris gave me a diamond ring to rock me into my twenties, and in a nutshell; life was pretty tootin' perfect!

To celebrate my 20th birthday, we decided to dine at a local restaurant with our familes and a few close friends. Chris offered to drive so I could enjoy a few drinks, and he offered my best friend; Monica and his best friend; Nick {who were a couple of years into their 'happily ever after'}a lift as well. We picked them up just after the sun set for the day, and the night sky stretched across the horizon.

On entering Chris's car, Monica handed me a wrapped present smothered with streamers & miniature balloons, and another gift: a perfect pink gerbera blooming in a small black pot. Moni knew me well. The way a best friend does. And girlfriend knew that gerberas {pink to be exact} were my favourite flower. It was the first time I had been given a 'living, growing' gift....I thought that was pretty cool.

We enjoyed an evening of great food, a wine {or two} and the soul-energizing activity of being surrounded by family, friends & love. It was nice! And it was another element of my life that reminded me that I was entering my 20's in a picturesque world. Little did I know!

Later that night, we left the restaurant, all hyped up on life. And during that hyped buzz, when boys will be boys, Chris & Nick did what they loved most.....revved Chris's Subaru WRX, to yet again; prove it's power. Nothing dangerous or stupid.....but enough to cause my lovely new pink plant to take a tumble to the car floor and spew it's earthy contents of soil & clay all over Chris's car carpet. I was sad, a little annoyed. But scooped it all up and attempted to pat it back into place in it's pot.

The next morning, not only did I wake with a Bladder Infection but I saw my gerbera plant looking very sorry. Due to it's stack, it was already loosing it's vibrancy....it's life. After prac that day, I took a trip to the Doctor {it was a long, painful day.....dealing with thirty, 7 year olds, a mentor teacher & assessment whilst being almost crippled in abdominal pain} and I stopped into the 24hr grocer & bought a bag of organic potting mix. At home, I carefully, repotted my wilting plant and tenderly watered it, assuming this was enough to bring it back.

It wasn't.

A few days later, the plant was browning & sagging. The pink was now a musty golden orange and the leaves were curled & limp. I gave up on the plant at that moment. I put it outside, under our patio, against the brick wall, still in it's black pot and moved on with life.

Within weeks, the dying plant was so neglected that it eventually vanished. And there by our back door, sat a lazy black pot filled with potting mix, and potting mix only!

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Three months later, on the 11th of November, Nick was tragically taken from us. A plane crash in Manila whislt he was on a surfing trip, took ownership of his fete. I realised I no longer lived in this perfect world of diamond rings, late nights loving life, partying hard whilst balancing studying hard, long summer days at the beach & untouched happiness. There was more to life now. There was unexpected pain & questions & anger. Sadness engulfed our life. Chris lost his best mate, Monica lost her 'happy ever after'.....what the heck was going on? Our life, as we knew it, was turned upside down. Tragedy in all it's ugly glory, punched us in the face!

Those first few weeks after Nick's death are a bit hazy. I remember the significant things. Things like the way it made mine & Chris's relationship almost stronger, we knew we had to be there for each other. Things like his funeral, and the memorial ceremony down at the beach. Things like talking to his parents on the phone. Things like cuddling Moni in her bed whilst she was paralysed with sheer grief and pain. Things like crying on the phone to my Mum, cursing at the world & why this had happened.

And one thing that I do remember, that is still etched in my mind, is a miraculous thing Chris & I experienced about 2 weeks after Nick passed. Even though I saw Monica everyday & sat with her through our silent pains, I decided I would write her a letter to fully express it all. I was really pulling at strings to make things better. Better for her. Better for Chris. So I sat down outside, under our patio and began to write. A few paragraphs into the letter, I looked over at our neglected collection of plants. There in a row, was 4 pots. Three of them were the remains of once-growing herbs.....yet; now they were shrivelled-up lifeless vines {yes, I am no green thumb!}. And then, there it was....in the 4th pot......on the left......the black pot from my 20th Birthday.......was a blooming pink gerbera bud with 2 glossy leaves and a stem! I kid you not! A couple of months earlier, this pot was a barren, dry mess of soil. No evidence of life at all. And over those few months, it was deprived of all necessary 'plant growing needs'.....it sat in a position of insufficient light with definitely no water.

I called Chris to come out & look at it. We both questioned each other.....thinking that the other had bought a new plant to refurbish the pot. But, both us, denied....and stood there in shook at what can only be refferred to as a miracle.....or our theory: A SIGN!

I'm not an overly religious person and I rarely give thought to the concept of afterlife. But, on that day, Chris & I witnessed something special. Something just for us, and Monica. A little sign to say "Hey guys, check this out, it's all good, and here's something pretty-darn-cool to prove it!! Keep living, life is beautiful"

And then....just like that.....a few days later, the flower wilted, the plant died...and a black plastic pot filled with dirt sat at our back door for 2 more years!

A sign? A pure once-off coincidence? Or just Mother Nature doing her thing? Take it as you may! We're sticking with A SIGN! And on the 11th of November every year, I give {and will continue to do so} one single stem pink gerbera to Moni to acknowledge that cool thing that happened to the four of us, from August to November in 2002, with the magic pink gerbera!

All I know is....when something BIG happens. And you don't have the answers to all the why's, and you're hanging on to any slice of hope possible. It's ok to find a sign, a symbol, a message. It's ok to take it & run & use it to move forward!!

Do you believe in signs? Please share....

You've got a friend in me.

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I often reflect on what kind of person I am. I think it's human nature to think about, wonder & analyse who we are, what we do & why we do it.

At the end of most days, usually in a quiet moment, I think about my doings of that day. I can be hard on myself. I hate to disappoint....myself, but more so; others.

However lately, most of my reflections are about me as a Mother. My days seem to be consumed with nappy changes, feedtimes, sleep settling, imaginative 4 yr old play, tidying up & general 'mummy chores'. I'm a Mother! I love being a Mother. I'm happy being a Mother! And whilst my babies are still young & dependent....that's my main role.

But, like most Mums....we are more than just Mothers. We're daughters, wives, sisters, aunties, collegues, cousins, nieces, friends & more. And with so much of my time, love & energy put into being a Mother, I wonder about the other roles I'm neglecting.

It got me thinking about friends. My beautiful friends....and what kind of a friend I am to them. I worry that I'm a crappy friend, especially over the past few crazy months of newborns, sleep deprivation & moving house! The older I'm getting, the faster it seems time is whizzing by. I blink and another week has gone by!

Moni & I. Been besties for 20years!

I have friends from all walks of life. Friends I've known forever & friends I've just met these past few years. I can't imagine life without my network of pals....my support systems.....my girls! They're always there for me....through love & loss & life. They show up. They ask. They love my babies. They care.

It hit me last Saturday, whilst I was out to lunch with a bunch of my closest friends. It was a mission to get there......to pack 2 kids up for the whole day out {so much stuff needed, it's ridiculous} - to get to ballet on time, then back in the car to go vote, to then drive 35 minutes South to catch the girls for lunch. It would've been easier to say No, to miss out on the lunch date!! But, it was Prue's Birthday. We were celebrating! And as we dined in a funky little cafe by the beach and I rocked my grizzly baby boy to sleep in my arms whilst talking life & love with the girls.....I saw my two me's; The 'Mummy Me' and the 'Friend Me'. And I felt grateful that the two can connect.....they can be interlocked into one. My friends embrace my life as a Mumma, they carry & cuddle & love my kids...which makes me happy.

I have to pick & choose which events & gatherings I attend these days. Coz my life is about being Mummy now, and that's awesome. But I still love {and need} time with my friends....so when I can combine being a Mum & a friend....I'm happy! {Although some baby-free time with friends is soul-replenshing too!}

Now that life is starting to settle again and we're finding a new groove as a family of 4, I'm finding the time again to do more with my friends. To make more effort. To be a good friend again. Finding the time isn't easy....life is busy.....but when I reflect back on each day....I want to know that I was a good Mumma that day.....and a good friend too. I'm trying to think of new ways to fit in time with my friends & my family on top of Ella's busy social life {hahaha....yep at 4, she has more scheduled friend-dates than I do!}, running a business & a house and finding a few seconds for myself. 

Can you relate? Do you have any suggestions on how to still be a big part of your friend's lives....whilst juggling Motherhood?

Overseas Trip. Part 3. Canada.

Leaving New York was super sad, because we had had such an AMAZING time in such an AMAZING city. But I was also filled with so much excitement with the upcoming next phase of our trip. We had to be up & in the cab to the JFK airport by 5am. Ella & I had only got to bed at 1am after a super fun last night in Times Square....so you can imagine how we both looked & felt on such little sleep {no photos of us that morning haaa}.

As the cab drove out of NYC, and the sun was rising, I snuggled my sleepy girl in the back seat & took as much of the city in for one last time. I tried to take mental note of the way it looked, the people, the chaos, the smells, the magic of this historic town before we hopped on yet another plane!

The flight to Toronto, Canada was fairly short yet quite turbulent {yikes! I didn't like that at all!} and Ella slept most of the way :)

When Chris & I decided that I would go on this holiday this year, one of the main driving forces in this decision was that I wanted to go to Canada to meet my dear friend Tara. Yes......MEET :) We have been friends since 2007......we talked regularly & know each other so deeply & so well....yet had never met in person :) We 'met' online {on a pregnancy forum} when I was pregnant with Ella & her with Aurora....and although we lived on opposite sides of the world....our friendship blossomed from day one. I felt some soulful connection to this girl & hanging out with her in person was on my bucket list ;o) And today....as I flew out of New York & headed north.....I was going to finally cuddle her in real life & mark a big fat tick off that bucket list again :)

The plane landed, we went through customs and then I steered our baggage trolley through the Toronto Airport scanning for Tara. I was filled with mainly excitement....but also some nerves...."what if I can't find her in this big place?" or "What if our connection isn't so great & we're stuck together for the next week?" or "What if I'm not what she's expecting?"....... But then I saw her.....and the gorgeous Miss Aurora baring gifts & balloons for Ella & I. We scooted across the room & hugged for the first time.....but it felt so natural as if we'd been hanging out as buddies forever!! It was such a beautiful moment, it really was! I was here......with Tara....for reals :) Very cool :)

Tara's husband Mike had taken the week off work so we could go & holiday in their country cottage. We drove out of Toronto & traveled for a couple of hours. Tara & I were already scooped together in the back of the mini van chatting away about absolutely anything & everything. There was no awkwardness and any fears I had had for a moment...were all gone. We laughed & reminisced & got the chance to really chat....face to face....not over a screen....it was bliss!

Then we arrived here:

{the view from the back deck of their cottage!}

So So Beautiful! Such a change from where we'd just come from in New York.....but a change that was so welcomed & thoroughly needed. This place was the epiphany of relaxation & beauty! The view, the lake, the nature, the scenery....it was like I was in the middle of a movie set :) So...to the lake we went, where we enjoyed the warm weather!! And Ella got to be a 'kid' with other kids...which was magic.....after a week of being with only 'grown ups' :)

{Little Logan stole my heart. What a gorgeous little soul of a boy!}

Later, on that 1st day in Canada, Tara & Mike took us to somewhere pretty cool.....WALMART :) It was quite an experience {loosing my Walmart virginity lol}.....this place is amazing.....I can't help but wonder why we don't have anything like it here in Australia?? But it was so convenient....it literally had EVERYTHING in the one store! And....OMG....so soooo cheap! $6 dresses, $5 Crayola packs....and my favourite new treat....POP TARTS!!! There was a whole aisle of Pop Tarts....and they only cost a few dollars per box {unlike the $15/box that we pay here in Australia}.  It was so much fun cruising the many aisles of Walmart.....Mike pushing all 3 kids in one trolley, Tara & I pushing the other trolley full of food, toys & treats :) We shopped up a storm & then  headed back to the cottage. It was then that I noticed Ella was crashing from the 4 crazy days in New York.....it was catching up on her......she was burning up a fever, her eyes were puffing up & she had the cranks....big time! So a fairly early night was had......by us all :)

Unfortunately, Ella was not 100% for our whole stay in Canada :( A doctor trip on the last day revealed she had a throat infection & virus. She was irritated, exhausted and sporting a constant fever. She was waking each night with night terrors & starting to miss her Daddy. But....in true Ella style....she didn't want to take it easy or miss an opportunity to have some fun.....she wanted to play & explore & learn!

Ella & Aurora were the reason Tara & I first crossed paths :) And seeing our 2 girls {born only days apart} playing together truly was MAGIC! Of course, we had to deal with normal toddler arguments....over important things like; who touched the pillow first, or who was using the purple sand bucket or who likes Tinkerbell more :) But for most of it....they were pretty tight :) Ella gave Aurora a BEST FRIEND necklace charm & it was so special to see these 2 little girls from different sides of the world, come together, like their Mumma's, and love each other :)

Tara & I have so much in common when it comes to parenting. We both like to embed some magic into our children's lives through imagination, make-believe, fantasy & play. So, it was only natural that a lot of our days were spent watching "The Ella, Aurora & Logan Show", or making fairy houses, or dressing up, or lounge room dancing or exploring the gorgeous surroundings looking for fairies.......

{this photo above truly shows Ella fighting her body's request to REST!!! She was exhausted & almost falling asleep on that rock.....but insisted on being in a tutu with a wand with her little pal Aurora....and not missing out on a thing!!} {I dragged her off to bed not long after this photo was taken!...against her will....but for her own good lol}

On one of the days, we headed into the local country town. It was such a sweet place. One of those quirky little towns full of character & charm. It reminded me of Stars Hollow in Gilmore Girls actually :) It was here that I experienced another 'first': Canadian Poutine {a scrumptious concoction of hot chips, gravy & melted cheese} YUM!

Cue lunch time break in the carpark:

I told you this town was pretty :)

If there's anyone who loves Christmas as much as me & embraces it for everything it's worth....it's Tara :) So, finding a Christmas Shop in August was pretty cool...and we spent way too long in there :) If I had no weight limit on my suitcases returning home, I would've bought most of the store :)

Ella & I fell in love with this interactive Advent Calendar :)

This sign {above} spoke to me hehehe :)

And if that town wasn't magical enough.....we then headed to Screaming Heads.....the finale to end a GORGEOUS afternoon:

And just when I think we've explored & played to our heart's content....Tara whips out this afternoon treat for the girls.......our 2 little Lovelies were in Girly Heaven......a tea party in a fairy forest....BLISS:

CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Topped off by a dip in the lake & some sand fun! Tara & Mike made this for Miss Ella:

 Most of the last afternoon was spent seeing the Doctor & waiting at the chemist for Ella's prescription.....but we then also headed into Toronto City for the evening & night. We did some shopping & went to awesome Rainforest Cafe, enjoyed a takeout dinner & cozied up in a hotel ready for our early departure the next day. That night, we simply enjoyed 'hanging out' & chatting. The kids had fun jumping on the hotel beds {shhh} and we mucked around with some photo ideas.

Above photo of me; taken by Tara, for a friend's handmade 'belly band' business. My booming pregnant belly, and a gorgeous piece of art to beautify my growing waist line....all in the comfort of a late night hotel shoot :)

And at some ungodly hour the next morning, we were up & on our way to the airport. Leaving Tara & her gorgeous family was a sad moment. Tara & I were all teary & sooky at the airport as we departed ways. I wish we had had longer there in Canada, spending time, catching up. But I'm grateful for the amazing 5 days we had there & am SO glad I finally got to meet my Soul Sister in the flesh. As the plane took off, bound for Kansas USA, I smiled at the amazing week we'd had with the Rose Family & felt very content & full :)

Thank you so much Tara, Mike, Rory & Logan for having us. You are such a beautiful family and Ella & I had a blast being apart of your family for the week. Love you x.

Who would've thought this crazy ole' place called the Internet, would play such a huge role in two kindred spirits meeting? Reflecting back on my meeting with Tara, I'm thankful for the world of blogs, online forums & websites! An awesome chapter of my life was written, thanks to the connections the online world can blossom.

Canada is a gorgeous, breathtaking place....and I can't wait to return one day :)

Part 4 of holiday.....7 days in Kansas USA....can be found here :)

My Buddy.....My Heart.....

My gorgeous friend Monica! We met at the mere age of 10.

We finished Primary School together, completed high school together, completed University together, dance together, teach together, ....basically have been inseparable since meeting 18 years ago!! And even through all this 'together-ness' we've never had one argument, one disagreement or one fight! We've stood by each other through adolescence, broken hearts, new loves, graduations, loss, illnesses, success, failures, marriages, babies and even death. She's always there for me no matter what.....she makes me smile.....she makes me feel young....she makes me feel safe! She makes life feel real & special!

And for that I say THANK YOU and I love you!

Wishful Wednesday......

WARNING!!! This week's Wishful Wednesday List is going to be a little different to my usual list of lovelies!! Maybe even a little corny {but it will be honest & from the heart}

As I sat down tonight to blog about my list of things that Tickled My Fancy this week......this is all I could come up with:

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I wish for LOVE!

I'm surrounded by LOVE & everyday I give thanks for that! I have an amazing Husband, the most precious little girl, a supportive loving family & a network of fabulous friends! I feel loved & strive to go the extra mile to make other people feel loved too!! I hope that all this LOVE continues to surround me FOREVER!

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I wish for SUCCESS!!! I wish for great things for Scissors Paper Rock & it's future!

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I'm sure everyone wishes for this! But I wish for Good HEALTH for me, my family, my friends.....for EVERYONE!!

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I wish for CALM!

Calm within myself, Calm within my home, Calm within my work & just general CALM within my life :)

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I wish for everlasting FRIENDSHIPS!

A lot of people come & go in your lifetime, but some very special few actually stick around for your whole lifetime! I've known my best friend since we were 10 years old & I hope to still call her my 'lovely friend' when we're old & grey & watching our grandchildren play :)

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And lastly....I wish for minimal stress :) I don't think a completely stress-free life is possible....because I believe that where there is love, responsibilities & life....there has to be some sort of stress, worry, expectations & anxiety! BUT.......I wish to live a stress-free life as much as possible......I'm still learning how NOT to stress the small stuff....but I'm getting there ;o)

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

What's on your wishlist this week?