Welcome to the bloggy home of Claire Chadwick. I'm the face & designer behind Scissors Paper Rock Designs, a wife to Chris, Mummy to the Divine Miss Ella & our newest addition; Baby Ryder. I'm a Primary School Teacher by trade, but recently shut my classroom door to pursue other BIG dreams of Freelance Writing. I am also excited to announce that my first Children's Picture Book {So Many Sounds} will hit stores in June 2013. This blog is my little online space where I weave together my reflections and stories of Motherhood. I illustrate with photos.... and drink plenty of coffee to keep me going. I'm on a mission to turn the mundane moments of motherhood into MAGICAL ones. 

Join me in seeping as much goodness out of life, {whilst I continue to drink way too much coffee & take way too many photos} and together we can make the most of our WILD & PRECIOUS LIVES!

I'd love to hear from you....comment on my posts or send me an email. Buckle up, Enjoy the ride!

Live! Laugh! Love!

 



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Entries in death (3)

Saturday
Dec152012

In Our Thoughts. 

What happened today in Conneticut, has left me feeling gutted. Absolutely heartbroken.

Heartbroken for the families and community this has effected.

It's every parent's worse nightmare - something happening to their child!

And the fact that it happened in the 'safety' of a school, and happened to innocent, young people; has left me lost for words. It's left me asking A LOT of questions - about life and God and reasons. It's left me wondering "WHY?"

My thoughts and prayers and messages of hope are being sent out tonight to the Mums and Dads who are now without a child, as well as the families of the teachers/staff who also lost their lives. I can only imagine the pain they are now living. If imagining it, hurts this much - I'd hate to truly know this pain, which is now their new reality!!!

A senseless, evil act has changed the world for these families. Life will never be the same!

Ten days away from Christmas and their world is crushed.

No words, really.

Except SORRY and may peace and hope find you all.

Sending HOPE that our world works together in bettering our communities and laws and burdens.

Sunday
Nov112012

ten years on

Today marks a significant date on our calendar.

Today, ten years ago, life as we knew it...changed!

On the 11th of the 11th 2002, we tragically lost our good mate Nick.

Ten years. Wow! Already?! In some ways, it just feels like it recently happened. So much has happened in that ten years!

The world changed that day. The way we lived our lives changed that day. Some things started to mean more to me from that day on.....and others; less.

Death became more 'real' that day. Pain and confusion and that agony of loss became new scars on our hearts.

Ten years today, a plane crash took the life of our friend Nick as well as 15 others. At age 24, Nick was gone.

Ten years on and I still wonder about the 'what ifs'. If he was still here..... if the crash never happened.....what would it mean for Chris and I? What would it mean for Monica? Where and how would his parents be living? What kind of an Uncle would he be to his sister's 3 gorgeous kids? And how different would life as we know it now, be? So many questions...... Answers we'll never know.

Life moves on - through good and bad. I've learnt that. And that moving on; gives us relief and hope....

Today, we remembered and acknowledged ten years on....

When we arrived at Nick's grave this morning, Ella asked if we were there to celebrate. Without lying or fumbling through the truth too much, I honestly told her where we were, why we were there and what it all meant. Death is a confusing subject, not just to 4 year olds - but to us all. She built Nick a tower of blocks {a Princess's castle} to leave on his grave-site. She wondered around the beautiful gardens and admired the trinkets and flowers. A few blocks down from Nick, is the site of a 6 year old girl. Ella asked "Can people die when they're kids, not just old?!"

She learned some harsh life lessons today. Took it in her stride - it didn't effect her at that moment. But in true-Ella style, she'll probably process it all, brew on it, and then want to talk more intensely and deeply about it. We're open with her and honest.

November eleven seems to stalk us. Ten years ago today marks Nick's death and three years ago today marks Chris's Nan {Val} death. An elegant, quiet woman, who would and did do anything for her family. A giving lady who had a big heart. She was so proud of Chris, and adored Ella. I wish she could have met Ryder. He has her eyes!

******************

Although today was a day of remembrance. It was also a day of celebration, with our niece's 11th birthday. An afternoon party of sushi and cake. Happy kids and lots of play. The perfect ending to a fairly sombre morning.

Today, I'm feeling blessed. Blessed to have Chris; still by my side; loving me through our life of ups and downs. And to be the Mother of his perfect children. And although I try to acknowledge my gratitude daily - it still takes significant days, like today, to remind you of what and who is important.

******************

What did your weekend entail? Please link up with your weekend happenings {this post is in replacement of the weekly ONE WEEKEND WONDER post. And, plus, I'm nosy....I like to peek into other's weekends heeeee :)

Sunday
Apr292012

The Pink Gerbera. A sign from above?

On the 26th of August 2002, I turned twenty. I was in the middle of a 4 week teaching prac, Chris gave me a diamond ring to rock me into my twenties, and in a nutshell; life was pretty tootin' perfect!

To celebrate my 20th birthday, we decided to dine at a local restaurant with our familes and a few close friends. Chris offered to drive so I could enjoy a few drinks, and he offered my best friend; Monica and his best friend; Nick {who were a couple of years into their 'happily ever after'}a lift as well. We picked them up just after the sun set for the day, and the night sky stretched across the horizon.

On entering Chris's car, Monica handed me a wrapped present smothered with streamers & miniature balloons, and another gift: a perfect pink gerbera blooming in a small black pot. Moni knew me well. The way a best friend does. And girlfriend knew that gerberas {pink to be exact} were my favourite flower. It was the first time I had been given a 'living, growing' gift....I thought that was pretty cool.

We enjoyed an evening of great food, a wine {or two} and the soul-energizing activity of being surrounded by family, friends & love. It was nice! And it was another element of my life that reminded me that I was entering my 20's in a picturesque world. Little did I know!

Later that night, we left the restaurant, all hyped up on life. And during that hyped buzz, when boys will be boys, Chris & Nick did what they loved most.....revved Chris's Subaru WRX, to yet again; prove it's power. Nothing dangerous or stupid.....but enough to cause my lovely new pink plant to take a tumble to the car floor and spew it's earthy contents of soil & clay all over Chris's car carpet. I was sad, a little annoyed. But scooped it all up and attempted to pat it back into place in it's pot.

The next morning, not only did I wake with a Bladder Infection but I saw my gerbera plant looking very sorry. Due to it's stack, it was already loosing it's vibrancy....it's life. After prac that day, I took a trip to the Doctor {it was a long, painful day.....dealing with thirty, 7 year olds, a mentor teacher & assessment whilst being almost crippled in abdominal pain} and I stopped into the 24hr grocer & bought a bag of organic potting mix. At home, I carefully, repotted my wilting plant and tenderly watered it, assuming this was enough to bring it back.

It wasn't.

A few days later, the plant was browning & sagging. The pink was now a musty golden orange and the leaves were curled & limp. I gave up on the plant at that moment. I put it outside, under our patio, against the brick wall, still in it's black pot and moved on with life.

Within weeks, the dying plant was so neglected that it eventually vanished. And there by our back door, sat a lazy black pot filled with potting mix, and potting mix only!

**********

Three months later, on the 11th of November, Nick was tragically taken from us. A plane crash in Manila whislt he was on a surfing trip, took ownership of his fete. I realised I no longer lived in this perfect world of diamond rings, late nights loving life, partying hard whilst balancing studying hard, long summer days at the beach & untouched happiness. There was more to life now. There was unexpected pain & questions & anger. Sadness engulfed our life. Chris lost his best mate, Monica lost her 'happy ever after'.....what the heck was going on? Our life, as we knew it, was turned upside down. Tragedy in all it's ugly glory, punched us in the face!

Those first few weeks after Nick's death are a bit hazy. I remember the significant things. Things like the way it made mine & Chris's relationship almost stronger, we knew we had to be there for each other. Things like his funeral, and the memorial ceremony down at the beach. Things like talking to his parents on the phone. Things like cuddling Moni in her bed whilst she was paralysed with sheer grief and pain. Things like crying on the phone to my Mum, cursing at the world & why this had happened.

And one thing that I do remember, that is still etched in my mind, is a miraculous thing Chris & I experienced about 2 weeks after Nick passed. Even though I saw Monica everyday & sat with her through our silent pains, I decided I would write her a letter to fully express it all. I was really pulling at strings to make things better. Better for her. Better for Chris. So I sat down outside, under our patio and began to write. A few paragraphs into the letter, I looked over at our neglected collection of plants. There in a row, was 4 pots. Three of them were the remains of once-growing herbs.....yet; now they were shrivelled-up lifeless vines {yes, I am no green thumb!}. And then, there it was....in the 4th pot......on the left......the black pot from my 20th Birthday.......was a blooming pink gerbera bud with 2 glossy leaves and a stem! I kid you not! A couple of months earlier, this pot was a barren, dry mess of soil. No evidence of life at all. And over those few months, it was deprived of all necessary 'plant growing needs'.....it sat in a position of insufficient light with definitely no water.

I called Chris to come out & look at it. We both questioned each other.....thinking that the other had bought a new plant to refurbish the pot. But, both us, denied....and stood there in shook at what can only be refferred to as a miracle.....or our theory: A SIGN!

I'm not an overly religious person and I rarely give thought to the concept of afterlife. But, on that day, Chris & I witnessed something special. Something just for us, and Monica. A little sign to say "Hey guys, check this out, it's all good, and here's something pretty-darn-cool to prove it!! Keep living, life is beautiful"

And then....just like that.....a few days later, the flower wilted, the plant died...and a black plastic pot filled with dirt sat at our back door for 2 more years!

A sign? A pure once-off coincidence? Or just Mother Nature doing her thing? Take it as you may! We're sticking with A SIGN! And on the 11th of November every year, I give {and will continue to do so} one single stem pink gerbera to Moni to acknowledge that cool thing that happened to the four of us, from August to November in 2002, with the magic pink gerbera!

All I know is....when something BIG happens. And you don't have the answers to all the why's, and you're hanging on to any slice of hope possible. It's ok to find a sign, a symbol, a message. It's ok to take it & run & use it to move forward!!

Do you believe in signs? Please share....