Eighteen Months.

Today, Ryder is officially one and a half years old. The big 18 months!

I remember in those early days, when he was tiny and sleepy and full of newborn deliciousness, and thinking about him at one, or one and a half, or two. And how those ages just felt sooooo far down the path that I just couldn't imagine him being a walking, talking, moving toddler. The baby-stage feels so slow at the time, but so incredibly fast in hindsight. In just six short months, we'll be celebrating his second birthday. That blows my mind. Coz in so many ways - it just feels like he was born a couple of months ago.

He's now 18months old, and I have trouble grasping the fact that by the next time I blink he'll be two, then three and then off to Kindy! As they say - time flies when you're having fun!

But, right now.....he's 18months. And the right now is what I'm choosing to savour.....

Because 18 months is pretty amazing....

Ryder is everything I ever dreamed a son would be. Plus some.

He's active and busy and strong. He's fast and loud and dirty.

He whines, he cries, he screams and he throws a pretty good tantrum. But he also smiles a smile that lights up the whole world. He gives the best open-mouth, sloppy kisses and his giggles brighten our days, like sunshine. He wraps his arms around me each night as I carry him from the bath to his bedroom and that just may be one of my favourite parts of each and everyday! And some nights when I'm laying with him, waiting for him to succumb to sleep, he grabs my wrist and places it around his waist - showing that he still, more than ever, needs his Mama close.

The other afternoon as we were walking into Ella's school for pickup time, he pointed at a baby in a pram and said "Bab". I responded with the usual "Yes, there's a little baby!" And it was then that it hit me - he's no longer 'the baby'. He's old enough to point out other babies and state exactly what they are.

We're here - at the walking, talking, moving stage. We're well into the brunt of toddlerhood.

I've started taking Ryder to a KindyGym program once a week. It's basically a chance for him to mingle with other kids his age and develop his skills {including listening to other adults and following instructions} all whilst I'm there by his side, guiding him along.

It's such a beautiful time together. Climbing, exploring, singing, playing, imagining, dancing and learning. 

He's clumsy and fast, and a daredevil at heart. He seems to be constantly sporting an egg on the head or a bruised forehead these days. He stumbles and trips and falls. But still dives at life with an adventurous spirit and not a care in the world.

His Daddy is his whole world. Having Chris work from home is both great and challenging - as Ryder just wants to be with his Daddy all.the.time. He just wants to chill out with Chris in the office, or dragging him out to the yard, or sitting on his lap on the couch with a book and a truck.

Like most second children, his skills are amazing. He tries to be like his big sister, therefore is doing things well beyond his age. He understands well and processes information far more deeper than I think our firstborn was at this age.

Sometimes I put music on - just to watch his reaction. It doesn't really matter what song it is, he'll stop in his tracks and bust-a-move. He claps at the end of songs and requests "more more".

Eighteen months is tiring and non-stop. Some days are harder than others. Some days are just pure fun. 

Eighteen months is all about learning and challenging and growing. It's all about pushing boundaries and taking risks. Making mistakes and trying again. It's all about finding our way - creating our own groove.

Oh Rydie-Roo, we're so lucky to have you. You big scrumptious eighteen month old.

Wordless Wednesday {water play}

Again, water play is a winner with this boy!

Happy Wednesday All x

Playing along over here today.

He's growing. And fast.

He started walking a week after his first birthday. Now, there's no stopping him. He's off.

In the blink of an eye, he's traversed the room. His little chubby feet pitter-pattering across the floor - a huge smile on his face. He's determined and persistent, and likes to push boundaries. 

These past twelve months have just whizzed by. Memories of last Christmas are still fresh in my mind; as if they only happened last week. That refreshing, euphoric feeling of having a newborn around vapored away so quickly. Because we didn't have a newborn for long. Before I knew it, his first birthday was here and we're now well and truly into toddler-hood. Seriously, where did 2012 go?

He's growing and changing and hitting all those milestones. It's a fun stage, a busy stage, a stage of new experiences and lots of learning.

He does things to make us laugh - he's worked out what makes us tick :) He copies his big sister and tries to keep up with her fast moving legs and her even faster moving mouth :) He listens and processes information - his little brain ticking through the thoughts and understanding needed. 

He's growing....our gorgeous little man.

The other day he was carrying a plastic nappy bag around. I told him it was yucky so to put it in the bin. And just like that, he trotted off and sure enough - put it in the bin! When the phone rings, he paces the room, opens the little cupboard under my desk and gets the phone out of it's cradle. When music comes on, he automatically stops in his tracks and starts to dance - his little body bouncing up and down, his arms raising up in a celebratory motion. When we say 'No' he has that look in his eyes of complete understanding....yet I may try it out anyways!!!!! All of these little things have started happening without me knowing when. When did my baby become so capable? When did my infant turn into this walking, talking, cheeky little toddler??

He is so full of life. So much personality. His spark and charm shine bright. He keeps me on my toes in ways his sister never did at this age. He is such a boy!

He's almost 14months old. FOURTEEN months he's been outside in this big wide world.

Time surely does fly when you're having fun, doesn't it?! :)

He loves his dummy, and all food. He still loves his 3 bottles per day. He likes anything that moves and makes noise. He's a water boy - happiest when in the pool.

I love the dimple on his cheek and the way his eyes sparkle in the morning light. I love when he nestles into my neck as I rock him to sleep. I love his chatter and babble and play with words.

I love his resilience and ability to adjust to change.... and the joy that surrounds him.

And when I get stuck in that negative, exhausted frame of mind of: 'why is my baby still such a bad sleeper?', 'is it ok that he's still in 90percentiles on all the health charts?' or 'I still rock him to sleep, how the hell will I break this habit?!' I stop myself and think about all the good things, the easy things.....the things that make him so unique and so special and so much fun! Coz there's a hell lot more of them!!!

We're so blessed to have him!!!

Yep...he's growing. And fast!! I can hardly keep up.

On The Night You Were Born.

On the night you were born,

the moon smiled with such wonder

that the stars peeked in to see you

and the night wind whispered,

"Life will never be the same."

Because there had never been anyone like you.....

ever in the world.

So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain

that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.

RYDER NICHOLAS!

Not once had there been such eyes,

such a nose,

such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.

Heaven blew every trumpet

and played every horn

on the wonderful, marvelous

night you were born.

{Above words taken from the book: On The Night You Were Born, by Nancy Tillman. We were given this book by my brother Spencer, his wife Heidi and their 3 kids, to welcome in our new baby boy. From the moment I read this book, I fell in love with it!}

****************************

Dear Ryder,

You are one! ONE years old already.

We love you so, so much. A love so deep that is just for you and us.

You bring us so much joy, so much happiness, so many laughs and so much love. Together with your sister, we feel like the luckiest parents in the world.

You are everything to us! And what a wonderful year it has been.

On the night you were born in November of 2011; the world changed - it became a better, brighter, more beautiful place. All because of you!

Love Mummy and Daddy x

****************************

You can see Ryder's first birthday celebrations here :)

The end of her babyhood.

Since Ella was a teeny-tiny newborn, she has had a thing for the soft muslin wrap that we attempted to wrap her in. She hated being wrapped, and would wiggle her way out in record time. Everytime. 

I realised very quickly that she didn't want to be wrapped, but she did want to feel the material near her face, and she settled much quicker when the wrap was coiled in her hands; her fingers slowly rubbing it over.

Ella - 1 month old. Blankie in lap.So each nap, each night, each car ride; we would give her the wrap. Very quickly, that wrap became a vital part of her routine - a vital part of her. And before we knew it; our baby girl had a Blankie. 

A blankie that could NOT be left behind. It came everywhere with us. It was her security system.

It was quite awesome to watch how that simple piece of cotton calmed her, and made her so happy. Quite cute actually. Our girl and her Blankie.

Ella - taking over Mummy & Daddy's bed. With her blankie of course.

Time went on, Ella grew & grew.

She started daycare at 12months of age - the blankie went too.

It started to fade and thin. But she still loved it. Even more so.

Ella aged 21 months.

She got to an age where she started to have sleep-overs at grandparents, and of course the blankie went too. It was never left behind.

Blankie came on our overseas trip last year. It was cuddled & clenched through 10 flights, 4 countries and 3 weeks away from home.

And when Ella started part-time Kindy {pre-prep} this year, Blankie was there.....hiding inside her 'sheet bag', ready for comfort at rest time.

By now, it was VERY torn and tattered. I had attempted to tie the tears into knots. It resembled a rag more than a wrap. A couple of months ago; Chris's Mum worked her sewing magic on Blankie. It was now a square again....but a third of the size. Ella still, night after night; relished in the security of her Blankie.

*****

A few weeks ago, I noticed that Blankie was not urgently retrieved from the clean washing pile at bedtime like it usually was. I didn't say anything. She went to bed without it. No mention of it.

The next day, I placed Blankie in her pyjama draw. Yet another night rolled by - no sign of Blankie.

After a week or so, of an abandoned Blankie, I asked Ella if she'd like me to get it for bedtime. "No thanks Mummy, I don't really want Blankie much anymore. I'll cuddle Rosie instead" {Rosie is a stuffed toy she bought from Woolworths for $8 earlier this year}

My heart skipped a little beat. Those words took my breath away for a moment.

That piece of material has been an extension of our girl for over 4 years. And now....now she's started to move on.

As silly as it sounds; this makes me sad. Sad that this stage is over - that again, I have to accept & learn the art of 'letting go', as I watch her spread her wings and grow.

With Blankie slowly being eliminated from the picture, I'm witnessing the final strings of her babyhood being cut.

Ouch.

Ella aged 4, with Blankie.

I'll put Blankie away soon, in 'that' special box of art work and photos, and random sentimental treasures, that we plan to keep forever.

Maybe she'll miss it soon and go in search for it. Maybe she won't.

My baby's growing up.

Sniff Sniff.

Hanging in there.

Excuse my presence from the new weekly linkup: One Weekend Wonder, at only week 2 ;) We've had a rough few days & this is the first time I've opened my laptop since Thursday :( I'll be back on deck next Sunday for the sharing of our weekend moments :)

We had a weekend up the coast booked. I had planned on sharing some of the magic of our weekend by the beach. But....like all well-made plans...they change! We had to cancel our weekend away & instead have struggled through the most exhausting few days ever.

Our gorgeous little boy has been so unwell. The sickest, most worrying moments in parenting I've had to experience yet. {besides this moment with Ella....but that was a different type of 'sick'}.

As mentioned in my last few posts, Ryder was hosting some pretty high temps. An initial trip to the Doc on Wednesday, diagnosed him with 'a viral flu'. Come Friday morning - after several shocking nights of a crying, distressed baby whose temperature was barely going under 39degrees - despite all the panadol & nurofen administered, I decided to head back to the Doctor's. Chris due to work reasons, had headed up the coast the day before us. So I was taking on all of this alone, and later that morning, I hit rock-bottom. Whilst at the Doctors; Ryder's temp hit 40.2 degrees {and that was after a double dose of nurofen/panadol} - they whisked him off for chest xrays. Some antibiotics were prescribed & a urine sample requested. After sobbing in the Doctor's waiting room with my sweet {very hot} little man in my arms and my gorgeous Ella patting my arm; telling me everything was going to be fine, I called Chris. I tried to hold it together on the phone as I didn't want him to have excessive worry whilst working a few hours from home. But with the simple question of "How are YOU doing?" - I fell apart.

By afternoon, he had left his important work committments, and come home. This meant so much to me.

As the weekend rolled, we just went from one exhaustion to another. Ryder didn't improve at all. In fact, he got worse. 11pm on Saturday night I took him to the emergency ward at the local hospital as we just couldn't get his temp down and he was screaming in pain. Some tests there revealed a urinary tract infection so I left with some stronger antibiotics for him.

Sunday - another trip to the Doctor to follow up, and referrals given for more tests. Sunday night - Ella stayed at her cousin's house for a sleepover while Chris & I took Ryder to the Children's Hospital in Brisbane. Although we were there until 3:30am, and again had a night of no sleep - we were at least given more answers. Our very tired, very sick little man had to endure more medications, lots of prodding & poking and being pinned down, a traumatic blood test, an attempt to insert an IV, another chest xray and another urine sample. Basically he has a shocking strand of influenza. His little body is fighting hard.

He only wants to sleep in my arms. So any sleep I've had this week, has been sitting in the rocking chair in his room cradling him. I thought I knew sleep deprivation well {with our 2 little sleepless cherubs}, but what we lived through this past weekend, has shown me a whole new level of sleep deprivation. WOW! Not fun!

Seeing your own children so unwell, especially at such a young age, is torture. I would not wish what we went through this weekend upon my worst enemy.

It was {and still is - we're not completely out of the worst yet} terrifying, exhausting, frustrating and heart-wrenching.

Chris has been my rock, he truly has. There's no way I would've coped this weekend without him.

We're all run down & fluey now. We're a house of sick :(

But now, while Ryder is asleep....not in my arms for a change...and it's been longer than 30mins....I'm going to make the most of it, and head off to bed! Let's hope for some sleep tonight!!!!!!!