Four.

Four years ago, on the 25th of January, at 11:31am, I became a Mumma. After 40 weeks of carrying a little life inside me & excitedly waiting for her to enter the world, a 6hour labour & an all natural birth; Ella arrived. Like most mothers would say.....giving birth is such a surreal, bitter sweet moment. The pain is so extreme yet the end result so magical. I've given birth again since having Ella, but her delivery is still etched in my mind....such a fresh, raw memory. The physical pain was out of this world......but the emotional & mental pain is what I remember most. The anxiety & worry that naturally comes as you're pushing & panting & gripping on for dear life with each contraction added to the intense wonderment of what is happening. "She's nearly here! I'm about to be a Mum....for reals!" was what was going through my mind over & over again. And that hurt. One of those moments when love & joy hurts so so deeply.

And four years on, we have a spirited, energetic, soulful, AHMAZING little girl.....

{25th January 2012.....the big FOUR!!.....p.s; there is 4 candles there....one's hiding lol}

Although we partied 'farmstyle' last week, yesterday was her true BIRTHday. A day that is all about her! And there's something so sentimental about your first born's birthday each year......as it too is my birthday as a Mother! That's cool! And each year, I am so grateful that I am a Mother.....that I'm Ella's Mother......that I was chosen to be hers, and she was chosen to be mine! Life's good baby!

On the eve of Ella's birthday, I laid with her until she fell asleep. As she was drifting off, I told her about the day she was born & how excited I was to hold a beautiful little baby girl in my arms. She smirked & giggled....."that was me, wasn't it Mummy?" she whispered. I thanked her for being my daughter & told her how proud we are of her.

Once she was in a deep lull....it was game on :) Chris & I dug into a bottle of red wine & bravely began constructing the......FLAT PACK! A wooden doll house with 35 pieces of furniture that required building from scratch! BIG.JOB! But.....like all big jobs.....it got done :) Along with the extra presents wrapped & four balloons blown. I was exhausted as I climbed into bed late that night......but filled with excitement as what the next day was going to bring.

Somewhere around 4:30am, after I just cimbed back into bed from feeding Ryder, Ella came in & asked if she could sleep in our bed until it was morning.....{normally the sun would be rising by now & Ella would be UP to start the day....but a rainy downpour made the room dark & sleepy}.....Ryder then awoke {again} so our bed ended up full.......as tired as I was, I lay there wide awake. Admiring my view:

Ummmm......this makes me EXTREMELY happy!! {not the lack of sleep....or being squished out the side of my bed.....but seeing my 3 Loves all asleep in harmony......BLISS!}

The day then begun, full swing, like all Birthdays do :)

Ella's amazement & shock as she saw the doll house & presents was priceless. For the next hour, the 4 of us, rolled around the lounge-room floor enjoying our daughter & 'big sister'.

This day was not only huge due to a certain little someone's fourth birthday, but it was also her first day at her new school, where she is doing part-time pre-prep {Kindergarten} there this year! All dressed in her new uniform, looking so FOUR, Chris & I beamed with pride. What an emotional day.......my heart was swollen with amazement at this little girl of ours.....but also so sad that my baby is no longer a baby, but a school-going-four-year-old......my oh my!!

She had an awesome day! Awesome birthday, awesome teachers, awesome school and ended with dinner out & ice-cream cake back at home.....AWESOME!

Above: Two of my favourite photos :)

Happy 4th Birthday our sweet girl. We love you!

You are so clever, so wild, so beautiful, so perfect!

Although Mummy struggles to keep up with your energy some days, I never want you to change. You are a lively little girl with so much life & so much joy running through your veins. You're loved my little girl.....so much!

Enjoy being FOUR. I know you'll rock it out!

Ella's Fourth Farm Party.

Almost as soon as Ella turned three, and the Rainbow Party was done & dusted, she requested a 'farm party' for her fourth birthday. And as the year progressed, she stayed true to her desire & request.....so a farm party we planned :)

Even though Ella is not officially four until next week, we wanted to have her party whilst her big brother was still here with us. So, last Thursday, we dusted off our boots, dug out our best yeehaah's & celebrated our little girl's BIRTHday, life & her every ounce of being.

The night before the big party, her & Jayden slept over at Chris's parent's house {Nanny & Pa}, allowing Chris & I to be single-childed, therefore having more time on our hands to do the last of the party preparations. And when Ella returned home that next morning....all she could say over & over again was "I just can not belive it is my real, actual farm party day!!!!" She was in awe!

She dressed in her farm girl best {made by Nanny Chadwick} and {Boots sent over from Kansas USA careof my lovely sister-in-law & Brother....thank you guys! they were a hit} and totally rocked out being 4 farmstyle :)

We went the whole hog {literally} and got the baby animal nursery farm in :) There were sheep & goats, ducks & chooks, a pig, and even a calf. It was fun!!!

Mother Nature was kind, thank goodness, because only 2 days before her party, our backyard was underwater from a few days of constant downpour! I was worried about where this party was going to be held if the weather didn't clear!!! However, this day....this day, we had blue skies, soaring temps & a dry backyard.....can I get a yeehaah for that?

My other Brother {not the American based one} & his family, are visiting here in Australia for the month. We were super excited that they were here for Ella's party. Having family to celebrate these special milestones, makes me happy!

Lots of friends, came out in their farmer/western best to part-ay with our girl. One word: Blessed!

I had fun setting up & planning this party. It was a versatile theme to work with. The day before the party, I sent Chris & Jayden out to pick up some bails of hay and stop in at the Landscaping Store to get a bag of river rocks. I could see Chris's brain ticking as I was listing off what I needed.....he was thinking "What the heck is she up to now?"

Gold Diggin'.....what else? :) A simple spray of gold paint on a few handfuls of the rocks, a paddling pool filled with muddy water, the golden nuggets & river rocks, some sand spades & some pasta strainers from the $2 store....wahlah....an absolute hit with the small {and big} kids:

We also had 'decorate your own cookie', a farmyard colouring-in area, a treasure hunt, pass the parcel & pin the tail on the donkey. Some serious boot scooting fun was had :)

Oh, and the cake! Can I get another yeehaah for the cake?! It was AMAZING! Ella had eyed off a farm cake with matching animal cupcakes on a YOUTUBE Betty Crocker video during the year!! Jenni {Nanny} offered to do it only days before the party. Is there anything this woman can't do? LOVED IT!!

On the day of the party, as we attended to finishing touches before guests arrived, I said to Chris "Do you think I'll ever be able to throw a really low-key, no decorations, no theme, minimal effort kind of party for our kids?" He laughed. "Not likely....it's just not you!" And that's true. I don't go to all this effort for me, or for recognition. It's all for them! I want them to grow up with amazing, magical Birthday memories. I want them to cherish that day each year where we celebrate their entrance into this world & everything about them! I want them to dream big, want more, aim high, believe & PARTY like there's no tomorrow :) The money spent, the hours of shopping & thinking & planning & creating, the loss of sleep due to setting up, making, baking & preparing.....it's ALL worth it. Coz it's for them!

As Pablo Picasso said: “Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.”

And celebrating is something our little spirited girl loves to do. So, celebrating we will do :)

She's 4 this coming week! FOUR....wow....that's huge! That too deserves a yeehaah :)

The finer details:

All activities & table settings were made or bought or designed by me. Except the farmyard printables on the candy table were from Stockberry Studio on ETSY. I found a lot of great party ware {paper straws, cups, table cloths, farm themed goodies on EBAY}. Each guest was given a take home goodie bag {which I used a simple brown paper 'tuckshop' bag, some string & a Stockberry Studio label. Inside was a bag of plastic farm animal toys, a farmyard activity book with crayons, bubbles, a chocolate & some lollies.}, a CD called Ella's Farmyard Hits {I put together a playlist of animal related songs, burnt them to blank CD's & made sticky labels for each one}, and a giant lollypop, which I decorated with some farm picture flags! The visiting animal nursery was: Barnyard Babies...they were GREAT}

Dear Miss Ella.

Dear Ella, 

One day I dream of you reading all these 'blog posts' that Mummy writes. I sit here typing & journaling the 'doings' of our life as a family because not only do I love the process of reflecting, appreciating, analysing & acknowledging but also so one day you will have a photo diary of what life was like 'when you were a kid'. I want you to be able to look back at all the photos & words; and remember the adventures we went on, the upbringing you had & the blessings in your life! So, today.....I thought I'd write JUST TO YOU! 

You are 3 years old + 8 months. Wow, you will be a big 4 year old in just a few months!! Time has gone so fast these past few years. I love you Miss Ella. You are so proud that you are nearly 4....you think that's pretty cool. You hold up 4 little fingers when people ask how old you will be at your next birthday & I love the way your little fingers curl over & the concentration you have to bear to keep those 4 little fingers in position :) Several months ago, you asked if you can have a 'farm party' for your 4th Birthday.....so a farm party we will have :) You want the whole 'kit & caboodle'.....coz you love a good party {just like your Mumma!}. You asked Daddy if we can have real farm animals at your party. "Of course" he replied. Someone commented "Wow, they are probably quite expensive!" Daddy's reply: "Yeah, but she's going to 4! That's huge! You only turn 4 once so farm animals we will get!" He loves you Miss Ella......he does anything & everything for you, no matter what! Just the other day, you asked me why Daddy works more than I do, you wanted to know why I take you to ballet on Tuesday afternoons & Daddy doesn't. I explained that Daddy works....hard! And that he works so that we {you} have everything you need. You got it :) You smiled :)

Some people say it's dangerous to 'be friends' with your children.....but Miss Ella.....you really are one of my best friends! At 3 years old, you get me.....you know what makes me tick, what makes me smile....and that's a real friendship! We have fun together! We go everywhere together! Hey, we took on the world together last month when we went on 10 planes to travel around USA & Canada :) You are my buddy & I love every moment with you!

Parenting is a funny thing....it's all trial & error I guess! To be honest, In some ways you've made being a mummy quite hard for me......coz I too am learning.....but at the same time you are so, SO easy! You're a good girl Ella... & Daddy and I are so lucky to have YOU! We managed to get through 'the terrible two's' unscathed. You're not much of a tantrum thrower {except for last week......hmmmm.....the performance you put on when we were in Jet's car....not good! hehehe!} As long as I explain everything to you and give you real reason, you're fairly easy to compromise with. You're mature for your age Miss Ella.....for an almost 4 year old.....YOU ROCK :) 

As a sleeper.....you don't rate highly :) You definitely didn't get 'Mummy's Love Of Sleep' genes. But that's ok My Dear......coz you are good at LOTS of things.....you clever little chicken.....and I think I secretly like the midnight cuddles & early mornings that belong just to you & I. 

You're so smart! You blow my mind with what you can do! You have always been one to hit milestones early....walking at 10months, having conversations with full sentences at 20months & out of nappies at 26months, but it's the way your brain works that amazes me! You love puzzles.....and your ability to memorize every puzzle piece & it's position within minutes of doing it for the 1st time fascinates me. In fact it fascinates everyone. Pa videotaped you doing a puzzle one day because he could not believe you were only 3! Your daycare teachers, grandparents, Dr Rayner & other adults that know you, throw words around like "gifted" and "talented" and maybe one day when you're at school we'll confirm these! Or maybe we won't....and that's ok! But all we know is that YOU ARE AMAZING little girl & we are proud of you no matter what you can or can't do, what you can or can't say & what you want to be when you're all grown up :)

You're going to be a big sister soon! Wow....that's a special job! Mummy always wanted to be a big sister.....but I am the youngest in my family so never got to hold that special position! Soon they'll be a little baby boy in our family and he is going to look up to his amazing, spirited & loving big sister! He will copy you & want to play with you & learn from you! I think you're going to be a pretty cool big sister Ella! 

And I am savouring every last minute of our one-on-one time before he arrives. Life will change soon.....for the good I'm sure! And I am embracing for everything that that change may bring! And I'm hoping that you'll just take it in your stride.....like everything you do :) But remember that we always love you and us having another child in the family does not change the way we cherish you! You made me into a Mumma.....noone else.....just you! Your birth day...was the day that I was also born....as a Mother! And that's special.

 Oh, Miss Ella, your spark & energy & soul inspires me daily! You love life & you live it big!

Thank you for being you!! 

I love you!! Love from Mummy!

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.  ~Author Unknown~