Health Update & Thank-You.

Before I start this post, I really need to acknowledge the HUGE outpour of love and support I received on my previous post, and my facebook wall. THANK YOU! I was bombarded with comments, texts and emails. And this was a good bombarding! It was inspiring and heart-touching. You all lifted my Spirit, out of the atmosphere! I honestly feel like I can get through ANYTHING, with so many amazing people {people I know personally and people who are online strangers friends} So, to all of YOU, who have taken the time to comment, message, email, call or send me some LOVE - I say Thank You! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

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To be honest, when all of this 'health drama' began several weeks ago - I hesitated with posting about it. I just wanted to get it over and done with; and then move on. I contemplated not mentioning here on my blog. Although I reveal a lot of our life here in this space - there is still a lot I don't. Like all families, we have our sacred time, unplanned mishaps and our privacy. Not everything that happens in my life is written about on this blog. This blog is a positive place - a space to document our life.

But then, I realised it would be very fake and unfair if I was only ever posting about the fab things that happen to me. Yeah they're noteworthy and always deserve a post. Of course, I want to capture and cherish the great things in my life - and not a day goes by that I don't feel grateful for the abundance of goodness in the life I live. But the not-so-good-times deserve recognition too. It wouldn't be a true account of our family life, if I omit the hard times and never mention the crappy days too! Life is full of ups and downs and many hurdles. This health scare is one them. I will write about it. I will share my story. And maybe, just maybe, it will help you through a similar time. Sometimes just knowing that there is someone else out there, who has gone through {or still is} the same experience as you, can be so reassuring and so calming. And that's one of my favourite parts of this blogging gig - the connections I've made through it. The stories and emails I get from people who thank me for my honesty and sharing my life, inspire me to not only continue sharing, but to live a better life.

Ok....enough of the sentimental ramble....

UPDATE:

We headed back to the specialist on Tuesday morning - all four of us. Hey, a family who heads to specialist appointments together, stays together {haaa....no?} A McDonalds stop for coffee and hash-browns calmed some nerves.

And the results from the Biopsy were then revealed - I have High Grade, CIN3 Cervical Disease. There, I said it. My name is Claire - I'm 30 - a Mother of two - and a wife who lives a healthy, positive lifestyle....oh, and I have a disease. A disease that if left untreated will turn cancerous and spread. A disease that I've had long enough to go from level 1 to level 3. A disease that has some symptoms, but not many that would make you consider there being a worrisome problem.

YET....a disease that is easily treated if caught in time {which is my case....thankfully}.

TREATMENT:

I'm booked in for surgery later this month. I'll be put to sleep and the effected part of my cervix removed by incision.

Regular checkups after that, for the rest of my life, but recovery should be bearable, and my good health should return.

THE HARDEST PART:

My specialist who will do the surgery, asked Chris and I about our plans to have more children. He is quite concerned that the effects of this disease with this surgery and 'tampering of my cervix' along with my already missing left fallopian tube and damaged left ovary, will leave me infertile. No guarantees. It's a case-by-case thing.

I guess, that news isn't that bigger deal. No, we're not planning on anymore children. We are already blessed with four kids {Ebony, Jayden, Ella and Ryder} and life is pretty perfect as it is. We're happy. We feel complete.

But, there is a difference between making that choice of not having children.....and having that choice taken away from you. We all like to have control over our lives - our futures. No one likes to be told that that control has been taken away, and you don't get a say.

It made me see the light clearer with this topic. Although having children hasn't always been plain sailing for us - it hasn't been a long, heartbreaking process either. I know so many people who want so badly to be parents - yet are unable to, or have to turn to other fertility options. I have a better understanding of how that must feel now.   

BUT.....as I said in my last post - I am going to trust the process. What will be, will be! Everything Most things pan out just as they're meant to - I'm learning that now!

Things get thrown into perspective when scares like this happen don't they?! Life becomes more obvious. Goals become more defined. We become more aware of life and love and things that make us happy.

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Over the past few weeks, and even more so; since my last post, I am realising how common this disease is. So many of you have commented saying you had experienced similar results in the past. I guess we can only be grateful that we live in a developed world where Pap Smears, diagnosis and treatment is so easily accessible. It's the underdeveloped countries that are seeing huge rates of women dying from such diseases, and that breaks my heart! How is that fair?!

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I'll keep you all posted with how the surgery goes. But for now....it's time to move on....to move forward....

In other news......

My PRINT STORE has changed! Did you notice?? Yes, still looks the same - and the prints are still the same.....but I no longer print and post. You are now purchasing Printable PDF emailed designs. I have slashed all prices {now that I am not printing, trimming and posting} and have given some printing and framing tips on my site. ENJOY the low costs and please enjoy this code: APRIL2013 which will give you 10% off orders in my store until the end of April. SHOP HERE.

Chris took a nasty fall from his Triathlon Road Bike yesterday. he was traveling at almost 40km/hour down a wet road and lost traction on an oily patch of the road. His leg is badly grazed. Really, really  bad in fact! Poor little Ryder has such a beautiful heart and is so worried for Chris. He is constantly pointing at the open wounds and saying "Oh Ohh" over and over, before giving Chris a pat for comfort ;)

Ella and I have been talking a lot lately about being a good friend, and doing what's right. I recently bought this book, and read it to her a few days ago. It was a great conversation starter about bullying and having empathy.

I'm really loving her being five. We have some great conversations together. My little buddy and I. Five seems so big, yet is still so small. I like that. 

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Ok, Happy Friday All.

Cheers to this supportive, beautiful online community!

Here's to moving on....moving forward.....

I have a date with two fab friends and 6 crazy kids.....perfect way to spend a Friday I think!

That Big Fat Elephant In The Room {also known as disease}

The weather was unpredictable and all over the place this past weekend. One minute we were blanketed with blue skies, warm sunrays and a soothing Autumn breeze; and then the next minute it was dark, dreary, cold and pouring rain.

It was up and down. A little like my emotions lately.

We've had this big fat elephant in the room the last couple of weeks and it's caused Chris and I to ride a roller-coaster of emotions.

Wednesday, 2 weeks ago, just as we were winding down the day - cleaning up from an early dinner, getting the kids ready for baths and pouring a lovely glass of red to enjoy.....I get a text from my GP, telling me to make an urgent appointment in regards to some test results.Later that evening, I head down to the Doctor's to hear the verdict.

I returned home with bad news; inconclusive news and a pile of results, statistics and referrals.

A recent Pap smear had picked up some abnormalities and further tests were needed. Of course, being the long Easter weekend, we had to wait 5 days before seeing a Specialist. Over that weekend, I went from worry to denial to tears to ignorance to having faith to sadness to trust.

Around midnight on that Wednesday night, I couldn't sleep, I crept into the solstice of our bathroom and cried. I felt sorry and angry and bitter. I worried and of course, thought the worst!!

But then something clicked - In that moment, I decided, once I had let out all my tears, I was going to stop worrying about all the "what-if's"and unknowns and to simply trust the process.

Tuesday, saw me at the hospital with the specialist and undergoing more tests. Words like lesions, high-grade, cancer, and treatment were thrown around. A biopsy was taken and this week we get the final results. 

At this stage, some of sort of treatment will be needed - but what?, I am yet to find out.

I love these two stinkers! {our awesome family Sunday down the coast}

Whether it's minor or something much bigger, there's nothing worse than hearing you have any form of disease. At 30 years of age, I was never expecting to be undergoing a treatment plan for any type of major illness - but who ever expects these things?

Like all other hurdles and storms - we find ways to overcome them, to beat them, to recover from them. With a loving husband by my side, a super supportive family and network of awesome friends, I know everything will be just fine. I truly believe that!

And with two kids who give me a reason to breathe, and get up each day and to live well - I have everything I need. And for that I'm grateful.

The huge planes were coming down to the airport, just near the hotels....they were so low. Ryder was fascinated!

Life is beautiful. And at the end of the day - all that matters is...... people. Not how much money is sitting in the bank.

Living a good life with my family & friends - making great memories - is ALL that matters! Everything else is just a BONUS!

Life is short - Live it well.

P.S. A HUGE thank you to my regular reader Susan....it was YOU, who reminded me I was due for a Pap smear when you commented on THIS POST. And when I found myself child-free after a meeting with my Illustrator one day a few weeks ago{thank you Mum for looking after kids for a few hours}, I snaffled the chance to get to the Doc on my own for all of those 'female checkups' as well as the Flu shot.

My specialist thinks we've caught this early enough and that it will be easily treated - so, THANK YOU Susan :) I ignored symptoms for too long - stupid really!

So I urge all my female readers out there - to STOP putting off those uncomfortable, awkward checkups and DO THEM THIS WEEK!!!

14/52

{A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013}

Ryder: One his favourite things to do at the moment - whizz around the house, full speed ahead; feet pattering along the tiles and the plastic wheels rumbling as they roll.

Ella: On top of 'Elephant Rock' admiring the beach views. Completely unimpressed that I had my camera out {again} - wanting to get back to exploring.

Joining in with Jodi.

*****You must check out Dee's awesome weekly family portraits. Her photos always make her smile. Such a beautiful family {and blog}. {Dee from dee*construction}*****

Hope you all had a fab weekend.

Honoured.

I was pretty tootin' excited when I got an email last week from The Australian Writers' Centre - telling me I was nominated in their Best Australian Blogs of 2013 competition!

THANK YOU to those who nominated!

I feel so honoured that my little blog would be recognised in such an awesome competition.

The prize is amazing, and something I KNOW my writing skills and passion would benefit from.

The People's Choice Awards are currently open. So I ask - if you like coming here to this blog, and enjoy what I write - PLEASE shoot me a vote. It takes about 20seconds of your time. Simply head over HERE and find me on the 4th page of blogs: {Scissors Paper Rock}, give me a click and then keeping clicking NEXT until you get to the end  and click DONE!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

I'm also hanging out for the announcement of the Kidspot Voices of 2013....as I know that'll be a FAB list!!

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And while I'm at it....I thought I'd let you all know....

My AUTHOR website is now up and running.

Head over HERE to support my exciting new career. Bear with me, whilst the site is still under construction. Some of the links won't work yet - and the photos desperately need updating - and some info is missing....but it's getting there!

*****I recommend you subscribe to my Newsletter {on the home page of my site} as it'll keep you up to date with my upcoming launch, online sales, free resources and MORE!*****

Again, THANK YOU for the HUGE support network you've all created for me! So much love in this online world, and I love being apart of this community!

Mwah!!!

On and up.....

Yesterday....

Yesterday, was a special day.

We did something that we rarely do, something that would normally make me feel guilty, something that was VERY MUCH needed right now.

Ella went to one set of Grandparents for a couple of days, and I dropped Ryder at the other Grandparent's house for the whole of the day.

Chris and I had a day 'off'......all to ourselves!

We cruised around in his car, just the two of us - like the old days, but now with a few more wrinkles, responsibilities and bagged eyes. We laughed and chatted. We had massages {which hurt like hell - my back was a mess of tension knots and nerve pains} and I indulged in a mani/pedi session too. We dined slowly at a restaurant for lunch and simply enjoyed taking our time. We came home to a silent house and relaxed. It was BLISS. Pure bliss. 

Normally, I'd feel guilty to do this --> to be child-free and spend the whole day indulging. But this time, I did not let myself feel this way! Who would've thought?! These emotions can be controlled?!

Lately, I've been feeling so exhausted - mentally drained.....and I'm now realising it's ok to ask for help, it's ok to raise the red flag every now and then, and it's ok to have the odd day off from parenting and work and home-life.

I picked Ryder up from my parent's house after his dinner and bath, and basked in the refreshing mindset that a simple 'day off' had given me.

A perfect day! And I'm feeling VERY grateful to 'Grandparents' right now.

Have a good Tuesday All.

Choc-Buzzed 2013

Yesterday started early. Ella came rushing in to our room before 6am to tell us the exciting news that the "Easter Bunny" had been.

So, we all crawled out of bed and headed downstairs to see the magic....

I love experiencing such days through the eyes of kids. Pure bliss.

Ella's letter gone and replaced with one from 'HIM'. The carrot munched on, cookie crumbs lined the plate and the milk sipped dry. And an array of foil wrapped goodies and treats left for our two cherubs....

Ryder didn't need any prompting.....he was straight into a choccie egg before we could even blink - foil and all :)

His cheeky grin says it all....as he licks his fingers clean :)

The 'usual routine' then occurred - an egg hunt adventure followed by {more} chocolate for breakfast....

I love this shot. Blury I know - but they were moving fast!

this photo says it all really.

Our Sunday rolled on with a quick Doctor visit {yes, even on Easter Sunday!} a gorgeous family park play and some fresh air in hope to 'burn off' some chocolate.

A fairly slow rest of the day, and a few champagnes shared with family later in the afternoon.

It was nice. A good mixture of slow and busy.

I'll be honest - Ryder has been full-on lately. Teething, mixed with another bout of Tonsillitis, and general toddler tantrums. Throw in some sugar-buzzin-easter-fun and he's all kinds of crazy! Crying one minute, happy the next. I can't keep up! He's been very testing lately. I'm drained to be honest. I keep chanting: this too shall pass. This is exactly {16months} when Ella hit peek fussiness and I struggled. Déjà vu,. Survived it before - will sure as hell survive it again! I'm just rolling with the punches.....

And a HUGE thank you to grandparents {my parents and Chris's} who have been such a support network lately in a time of need. Mwah to you 4 xox

How was your Easter?? Were your kids hungover come evening from all the chocolate? I simply let down my health-food-guard on the Easter weekend and let them go choc crazy....then come Tuesday, we regain good eating habits once again!

Have a great week All.