The Pink Gerbera. A sign from above?
Sunday, April 29, 2012 at 8:45PM 
On the 26th of August 2002, I turned twenty. I was in the middle of a 4 week teaching prac, Chris gave me a diamond ring to rock me into my twenties, and in a nutshell; life was pretty tootin' perfect!
To celebrate my 20th birthday, we decided to dine at a local restaurant with our familes and a few close friends. Chris offered to drive so I could enjoy a few drinks, and he offered my best friend; Monica and his best friend; Nick {who were a couple of years into their 'happily ever after'}a lift as well. We picked them up just after the sun set for the day, and the night sky stretched across the horizon.
On entering Chris's car, Monica handed me a wrapped present smothered with streamers & miniature balloons, and another gift: a perfect pink gerbera blooming in a small black pot. Moni knew me well. The way a best friend does. And girlfriend knew that gerberas {pink to be exact} were my favourite flower. It was the first time I had been given a 'living, growing' gift....I thought that was pretty cool.
We enjoyed an evening of great food, a wine {or two} and the soul-energizing activity of being surrounded by family, friends & love. It was nice! And it was another element of my life that reminded me that I was entering my 20's in a picturesque world. Little did I know!
Later that night, we left the restaurant, all hyped up on life. And during that hyped buzz, when boys will be boys, Chris & Nick did what they loved most.....revved Chris's Subaru WRX, to yet again; prove it's power. Nothing dangerous or stupid.....but enough to cause my lovely new pink plant to take a tumble to the car floor and spew it's earthy contents of soil & clay all over Chris's car carpet. I was sad, a little annoyed. But scooped it all up and attempted to pat it back into place in it's pot.
The next morning, not only did I wake with a Bladder Infection but I saw my gerbera plant looking very sorry. Due to it's stack, it was already loosing it's vibrancy....it's life. After prac that day, I took a trip to the Doctor {it was a long, painful day.....dealing with thirty, 7 year olds, a mentor teacher & assessment whilst being almost crippled in abdominal pain} and I stopped into the 24hr grocer & bought a bag of organic potting mix. At home, I carefully, repotted my wilting plant and tenderly watered it, assuming this was enough to bring it back.
It wasn't.
A few days later, the plant was browning & sagging. The pink was now a musty golden orange and the leaves were curled & limp. I gave up on the plant at that moment. I put it outside, under our patio, against the brick wall, still in it's black pot and moved on with life.
Within weeks, the dying plant was so neglected that it eventually vanished. And there by our back door, sat a lazy black pot filled with potting mix, and potting mix only!
**********
Three months later, on the 11th of November, Nick was tragically taken from us. A plane crash in Manila whislt he was on a surfing trip, took ownership of his fete. I realised I no longer lived in this perfect world of diamond rings, late nights loving life, partying hard whilst balancing studying hard, long summer days at the beach & untouched happiness. There was more to life now. There was unexpected pain & questions & anger. Sadness engulfed our life. Chris lost his best mate, Monica lost her 'happy ever after'.....what the heck was going on? Our life, as we knew it, was turned upside down. Tragedy in all it's ugly glory, punched us in the face!
Those first few weeks after Nick's death are a bit hazy. I remember the significant things. Things like the way it made mine & Chris's relationship almost stronger, we knew we had to be there for each other. Things like his funeral, and the memorial ceremony down at the beach. Things like talking to his parents on the phone. Things like cuddling Moni in her bed whilst she was paralysed with sheer grief and pain. Things like crying on the phone to my Mum, cursing at the world & why this had happened.
And one thing that I do remember, that is still etched in my mind, is a miraculous thing Chris & I experienced about 2 weeks after Nick passed. Even though I saw Monica everyday & sat with her through our silent pains, I decided I would write her a letter to fully express it all. I was really pulling at strings to make things better. Better for her. Better for Chris. So I sat down outside, under our patio and began to write. A few paragraphs into the letter, I looked over at our neglected collection of plants. There in a row, was 4 pots. Three of them were the remains of once-growing herbs.....yet; now they were shrivelled-up lifeless vines {yes, I am no green thumb!}. And then, there it was....in the 4th pot......on the left......the black pot from my 20th Birthday.......was a blooming pink gerbera bud with 2 glossy leaves and a stem! I kid you not! A couple of months earlier, this pot was a barren, dry mess of soil. No evidence of life at all. And over those few months, it was deprived of all necessary 'plant growing needs'.....it sat in a position of insufficient light with definitely no water.
I called Chris to come out & look at it. We both questioned each other.....thinking that the other had bought a new plant to refurbish the pot. But, both us, denied....and stood there in shook at what can only be refferred to as a miracle.....or our theory: A SIGN!
I'm not an overly religious person and I rarely give thought to the concept of afterlife. But, on that day, Chris & I witnessed something special. Something just for us, and Monica. A little sign to say "Hey guys, check this out, it's all good, and here's something pretty-darn-cool to prove it!! Keep living, life is beautiful"
And then....just like that.....a few days later, the flower wilted, the plant died...and a black plastic pot filled with dirt sat at our back door for 2 more years!
A sign? A pure once-off coincidence? Or just Mother Nature doing her thing? Take it as you may! We're sticking with A SIGN! And on the 11th of November every year, I give {and will continue to do so} one single stem pink gerbera to Moni to acknowledge that cool thing that happened to the four of us, from August to November in 2002, with the magic pink gerbera!
All I know is....when something BIG happens. And you don't have the answers to all the why's, and you're hanging on to any slice of hope possible. It's ok to find a sign, a symbol, a message. It's ok to take it & run & use it to move forward!!
Do you believe in signs? Please share....
death, family, friendship, holding onto hope, life, loosing a friend, pink gerbera, sign, tragedy in {Memories}, {My Life}, {Real Life}
Reader Comments (7)
Thankyou for sharing your story. That has definately made my morning! My older brother passed away in 2004 and I just had a dream about him this morning before I woke up and me makes me feel better about myself, whenever I'm a little down or have something on my mind or a change is about to happen (I'm about to move into my Partners newly built and renovated house, very exciting but a big change/step/comittment, especially as we re talking about marriage and children over the next two years.) and I'm a little anxious about. I always seem to get a SIGN (a dream, the flower that was used for my late brothers memorial, a song he liked, a photo, randomly remembering a childhood memory) that he is around to protect me, let me know I'm a strong person and grab onto the next big thing in my life and enjoy instead of be scared. Thanks again and enjoy your pink gerbera's.
OMG!!! What a beautiful piece of writing!!! Brought back some teary memories as I am sitting here reading it, crying my eyes out!!! Thank you for giving us that beautiful tribute to NIck... he is forever missed in our lives.
Love you and Chris dearly!
Mon
What a beautiful story and so well told. Hang on to those signs and hang on to every moment of life - the good, the bad and the ugly times - cherish hope and love and never give up on the future.
Lovely story Claire as we have known Monica since her pre-school days.
I had an experience to share with you: My Mum was dying in hospital and so her 6 children were there day and night to comfort her and to help her enter her new world. She mumbled most of the day calling her Mum and we sat and held her hand and just said to let go of us and go to her Mum. Whilst it was sad after being there for five days (24hrs) on the Sunday morning with all 6 children in a semicircle around her bed, she looked up, pointed to the heavens with her arm, smiled at each of us and said that the garden was beautiful. She immediately went back to the foetal position calling for her Mum. The next morning she died but at her funeral I was able to get up and relive this situation to all hers and our friends, that we were happy , not sad, for she had experienced a sign from above and shared it with us enabling us to know that she wasn't suffering anymore. I am not afraid of dying now as I know that I will meet her again and embrace life in a different way. Ann Ferguson of Hope Island.
I don't think I will see a pink gerbera and not think of your story, Clare, just wonderful. As I am Moni's aunt, I too, saw her raw pain and grief. I also have an experience to share with you.....
I would always say to my Dad - which ever one of us goes first, let's make a sign that we are still with us in spirit on earth - sadly, Dad passed away in August, 2008. My family went home to the farm in Murgon to be with Mum to arrange his furneral and as I was getting into bed with Mum, the digital alarm clock was blinking, this was Dad's clock on his side of the bed (there had not been a power outage) and I said to Mum, that is Dad!!! I just knew it, my sign.
Twelve months time Mum moved into a unit in Murgon, the family helped her move. As I was getting into bed with her on the first night, the digital alarm clock began blinking....Yes, Dad, I thought, you know Mum is safely settled in her new home.
The alarm clock has not blinked again but thanks Dad for my sign xx
Claire, this is one of my favourite posts of yours because of the way you have expressed yourself so beautifully and really captured your feelings at the time of losing someone so dear to you as well as getting your message across to us readers about how to not take anything for granted and to appreciate the beauty in everyday. As for the gerbera, what an amazing story - a definite sign!! I can't believe a pink flower was blooming after all that time of neglect - amazing!!!!
As for signs I can think of from my experience, when my grandfather was in palliative care at the end of his battle with lung cancer, having been by his side at the hospital for most of the day, all of us family (cousins, aunts,uncles etc) came back to our house as it was Mum's birthday and while we weren't 'celebrating' as such, we wanted to acknowledge her birthday with a coffee and cake. While we were all gathered, the door suddenly slammed shut (even though there was no wind or anything) at just after ten. Shortly after, we received the call that my grandfather had passed away at 10 past 10. It was like he had let us know that he was happy we were all together, he had seen us and it was time for him to leave. Days later when we headed back to my grandfather's house, we noticed his clock had stopped, dead on 10 past 10 :)
What a truly uplifting story Claire! Thank you so much for sharing it, it has warmed my heart to read your post. This morning I asked someone specific (my mother in law) for a sign. If the answer to what I was asking is 'yes' I asked her to send me a feather or a butterfly, as I have always associated these with her, especially butterflies. Within an hour or so of me asking for this, I went into the kitchen to get a drink. I was in the middle of the kitchen when I looked down and there at my feet was a perfect, small, fluffy, grey feather! My mind was blown! I don't know whether the colour is significant or not, as it was grey and not white and it could have come from outside, but it wasn't there earlier on. I just don't know whether I can put this down to coincindence....